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Personal Leadership & Management Part IV: The Ultimate Mission & Grand Strategy

In case you missed it in Part III of this series, we fleshed out our identities and roles. We stopped short then of drafting your mission statement. I find it easier to walk backward from our concrete roles and identities into our abstract values and mission. These are easier to understand and articulate if you’ve thought about how you want them to affect the various spheres of your life and the specific actions you need to take.

I was also delaying, as much as possible, giving you examples of others’ mission statements. That is to not tempt you to copy others. This is about writing YOUR script in alignment with YOUR values. We are blindly accepting the scripts given to us by culture. This is about pushing back and analyzing before accepting and creating your own idiosyncratic creed.

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

Friedrich Nietzsche

This mission statement should focus your energies and resources, and prevent distraction by giving you a sense of orientation and purpose. If you draft your own you’ll be more self-directed.

If you want to win the war for attention, don’t try to say ’no’ to the trivial distractions you find on the information smorgasbord; try to say ‘yes’ to the subject that arouses a terrifying longing, and let the terrifying longing crowd out everything else.

David Brooks, The Art of Focus

Now, all that said, here are two short ones from persons you may know:

My mission in life is not not to merely survive but to thrive, to do so with some passion, compassion, humor, and style.

Maya Angelou

I shall
not fear anyone on earth.
fear only God.
not bear ill will toward anyone.
not submit to injustice from anyone.
conquer untruth with truth.
and in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.

Gandhi

And an anonymous one I plagiarized from the inter-webs:

I will…
Be kind and proactive in developing and sustaining connections with family and friends, to be regarded as a successful spouse, father, son, brother, uncle, and friend.
Always behave with integrity and never compromise on honesty.
Intend to approach life with a curious mind.
Take care of my health by frequently exercising, eating healthily, and avoiding anything that may damage my body.
Remember when things get rough, there are so many things for which I am grateful. I will give back to the community through donations and volunteering.

Anonymous

Remember, this doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get started. You can refine and modify it over time—in fact, you should review it daily for at least 30 days, and weekly for 120 days. As previously stated, the process is as important as the product.

Personal leadership is not a singular experience. It doesn’t begin and end with the writing of a personal mission statement. It is, rather, the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important things.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Your Grand Strategy

Let’s begin by putting the title at the top: “My Ultimate Strategy,” or something like that. Next a subheading: “Ultimate Purpose.” Then your statement of that. For example, “to actualize my potential in service of my wife, family, friends, and sphere of influence.”

Creed

The next subheading is “Personal Creed.” Here’s where you can flesh out the ‘why’ above with some ‘how’ and ‘what’. Here (at least in mine) you may start to see influences from others. This also begins to seem like your own philosophy. Not only is that okay, but it’s actually the point. A ‘creed’ is essentially a statement of philosophy. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a creed is “a set of beliefs that influences the way you live.” According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a creed is “a system of beliefs, principles, or opinions,” and “any summary of principles or opinions professed or adhered to.”

Note, this is not so specific as to say, “In five years I will…” Those are plans or long-term goals. This instead is deep and wide, meant to guide decisions about goals. It’s not about the ‘what’, it’s about the ‘why’ and some guidance as to the ‘how’. We will address the ‘what’ and ‘how’—goals, commitments, and planning—later in the article.

Character Strengths

The next subtitle or heading I like to list is “Character Strengths.” Here you can list your character strengths from the University of Pennsylvania test. I also write out their definitions as provided at Authentic Happiness.

For example: “Love of Learning—I love learning new things, whether in class or on my own. I have always loved travel, school, reading, and museums—anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.”

My other top character strengths are Gratitude and Compassion, Bravery and Valor, Curiosity and Interest in the World, and Awe.

This list can help me make decisions about what to do monthly, weekly, and even daily. Remember, positive psychologists have proved that people who actualize their character strengths daily are happier at work and play. “Should I take this job?” becomes “Does this opportunity lead to eudaemonia and fulfillment by allowing me to use my character strengths?”

The second advantage to knowing and reviewing this list is seeking opportunities to grow in areas of weakness. To take some proactive steps to improve your character. Using this reference, I can set up “training missions” for improvement or ‘exposures’ for incremental growth.

Maxims & Operating Principles

My next two sub-headings are “Maxims” and “Operating Principles.” Maxims are succinct formulations of a fundamental principle, a condensed proposition of important practical truth, a rule of conduct, or an axiom of practical wisdom.

As previously discussed, principles allow you to live a life consistent with your values—they operationalize your values.

Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that get you what you want in your life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.

Ray Dalio, Principles of Life and Work

Maxims and Principles then are like time-tested heuristics. You can develop your own, or modify, through experience, those of others. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations can be seen as his private spiritual practice of copying and then reformatting the thoughts and teachings of the Stoic Philosopher Epictetus.

My Maxims (principles I found important enough to tattoo on my wrists) are: “Always Be Orienting” and “Prepared and Active.”

The first is a quote from John Boyd, of “OODA Loop” fame. The second is a distillation of Seneca’s wisdom:

Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul—the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.

Seneca, Moral Letters, 107.12

I won’t bore you with my full list of Principles. It’s a list that needs some culling and reformatting, anyway. But for examples, here are a few:

  • Internal Locus of Focus–I take “Extreme Ownership.” I focus all of my energy within my spheres of control and influence. I do not concern myself or worry about things over which I have no control.
  • Stress is information.
  • Growth resist entropy.
  • What’s Important Now (WIN)?–detach, observe, and [re]orient, then prioritize and execute.
  • Always stay a student.
  • I move toward the resistance, out of my comfort zone, as it is on the edges that you will learn and grow.
  • I train for hardship and pain.
  • I seek the narrow path–the middle way.

Domain Strategies

Now, lastly, under the subtitle “Domain Strategies,” I list high-level strategies for each of the identities of “Self” (or “Energy”), “Vocation” (or “Work”), and “Love” (or “Relationships”). Under the “Self” identity I have an over-arching domain strategy and strategies for each valence (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual).

These can all be drafted much in the same way detailed in Part III. Step one is to block out time for undisturbed deep work. Step two is to ensure you have defined and prioritized your identities and roles. You need to know and define them. This helps to guide long-term, short-term, and even moment-to-moment goals and decisions.

Step three is defining your purpose for each role and identity. Roles tend to be other-focused (relationships and vocation), therefore, as previously mentioned, we also need to establish goals and commitments for ourselves in each valence.

Next, step four, is to look at each identity, role, and life where you have established personal goals and, being brutally honest, define your current reality. Change and growth can only begin with honesty.

In step five, you establish specific action steps—commitments—for each goal.

We will use my Physical Valence as an example: “Train every day with mission-specific purpose, to be strong, durable, and useful. Some commitments are to “program for the year and your ‘Centenarian Decathlon’.” This covers the “Energy” or “Self” identity.

You can’t achieve primary greatness by neglecting yourself—your health, your mind, your emotional and spiritual life. Each of these vital areas of your life needs constant, even daily, renewal. Pushing the lever a bit every day can offset a slow or even catastrophic downward decline in your personal energy and even save your life.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Now you do the same for your Relationships and Vocation identities. Feel free to flesh these out as much as you want, but remember this is your Grand Strategy. It is meant to provide high-level guidance to your later decisions about daily, weekly, and monthly plans. Think of it this way: the Grand Strategy is the marrow and bone. You’ll add the flesh and muscle later.

Sections humerus and femur bones

My pre-retirement Vocation can serve as an example here. “I am a professional Law Enforcement Officer. I am a scholar, statesman, and guardian. I commit to lifelong learning. I will engage the communities I serve. I will honor my Oath, perform my duties to the best of my ability, and actively pursue my potential. I will prepare to be someone’s hope in their time of need.” I plagiarized this from “VALOR for Blue” after attending their train-the-trainer program.

Note the way the above is formatted. They are first a vision—”Professional Law Enforcement Officer”—defined—”Scholar, Statesman, Guardian”—as I would want people to speak of me at my funeral. Then there are several ‘commitments.’ These commitments are what I believe will achieve the legacy or vision. Why commitments and not goals?

Commitments: the Bridge Between Vision & Goals

Vision is a broad, all-encompassing, and open-ended conceptualization of how you want your life to be ‘in the future’. A vision allows for adaptability as reality changes, applying OODA looping to your personal development, and reorienting with new knowledge of yourself and the environment.

Lacking the deeper meaning found in a vision, goals are specific, measurable, and time-bound objectives a person aims to achieve. They provide a focal point for your resources, actions, and decisions. Goals are more concrete than intentions but are often outcome-based, rather than behavior-based.

While we need goals—we are teleological as Socrates says—there is a psychological phenomenon known as ‘goal lock’. Goal-lock is a self-defeating single-mindedness that can lead to depression and anxiety, even if you do achieve the goal. Stories abound of Olympians having won gold and sunk into the depression of “now what?”

So visions provide purpose and goals provide a target. How do we get from here to there? Commitments. A goal is something you want to do: I want to lose 20 pounds in six months.” A commitment imports that goal, becoming something you have to do.

As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control, and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods. -Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People

“My vision is to lose weight in six months to look and feel good” and “My goal is to exercise every day and lose 20 pounds in six months.” Therefore, “I commit to walking 10,000 steps every day; to doing 100 kettlebell swings and 10 get-ups every day; to doing power yoga every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.” Now, I can’t guarantee those specific commitments will accomplish your vision (you can’t outwork a bad diet), but I think you get my point.

Commitments should describe only a minimal necessary amount of the behavior you want to do in support of your goals. Commitments can be about what you will do or get to do generating a positive emotion. They can also be ‘bright line’ don’t dos. These are most helpful in the face of peer pressure: “I don’t drink alcohol on work nights,” or “I don’t eat that.” These types of commitments make it easier to act in accordance with your identity, vision, and goals.

A last word about commitments. ‘Commitment devices’ are any techniques that help people commit to a behavior. These could include contracts or pledges, and even accountability buddies. From the study of human behavior and habits, we also have “Odysseus Contracts,” aka “pre-commitments.”

The Odysseus Contract is a commitment device that allows us to make a choice in the present that binds us to an action or a decision in the future. A simple example is sometimes referred to as using your willpower on offense, rather than defense. That is, don’t buy junk food at the store, and then you won’t have it on hand at the house when your willpower is weak.

Now you have a complete first draft. Therefore it’s time for the final and most important step: Evaluation and editing. Stephen Covey offers a series of questions well suited to this evaluation process:

1) Is my mission based on timeless, proven principles? Which ones?
2) Do I feel this represents the best that is within me?
3) During my best moments, do I feel good about what this represents?
4) Do I feel direction, purpose, challenge, and motivation when I review this statement?
5) Am I aware of the strategies and skills that will help me accomplish what I have written?
6) What do I need to start doing now to be where I want to be tomorrow?
7) Does this statement inspire me?

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

If this is your first time drafting a mission statement or grand strategy, I’d recommend visiting this evaluation and editing process every day for at least 30 days. When we start talking about ‘personal management’, you will learn the benefit of reviewing this once a week as part of your weekly review and planning. That’s for making sure your weekly plans are in alignment. The first thirty days are for embedding the Ultimate Mission and Grand Strategy into your psyche.

I’d also suggest having this “ready at hand”—in your phone or a pocket notebook—so you can refer to it in the moment of decision-making.

And that completes the first half of this series. In parts I through IV we covered Personal Leadership. Stay tuned for further installments where we will shit to Personal Management.

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Personal Leadership & Management Part III: Roles and Identities

In this part three of the series, let’s start with a thought experiment that distills down the most important takeaways from part two. Think about traveling forward in time, arriving at your funeral. Imagine now witnessing your funeral. Family, friends, and former and current co-workers are all there; they each give a eulogy about you.

a brown wooden coffin
Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

Really ‘feel into’ the scene. Where is it? What does it look like? What’s the weather like? Is there music? Write down who is in attendance: wife, husband, kids? Your boss? Former trainees? Friends and co-workers? Now write down what they are saying about you.

Returning to the present, consider those statements. Can you boil them down to single words or phrases representing the values and virtues you aim for, your character strengths and principles? Finally, are you currently living in alignment with those ideals? If the words of your eulogy are your legacy, are you doing, right now, those things that will build that legacy?

If the answer is “no,” then stick around for further installments of this series, where we will talk about ‘training missions.’

Recently I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues, The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.

David Brooks, The Road to Character

Before we carry on with our main topic—defining our roles and drafting our mission statement—consider another question: “Who are you when you have been at your best? What did you do? And what did you not do?”

Hell is where the person you are meets the person you could have become, moments before your death.

Apocryphal

Roles

As you make an honest assessment of your answers to the questions, with deep reflection and self-examination, you may begin to identify and define the many roles or areas of responsibility you have.

Remember those persons at your imagined funeral who bore witness to your legacy? Some of these roles pertain to them. Are you a life partner, or parent? Maybe you are a teacher or field training officer, or a supervisor or mentor.

Here’s my long list:

  • Husband
  • Brother
  • Son-in-law
  • Brother-in-law (seven times over)
  • Uncle (five times over)
  • Homeowner, oops, apartment tenant
  • Retired Law Enforcement Officer
  • Coach/Trainer
  • Philosopher (though I know I’m supposed to keep that a secret)
  • Writer
  • Teacher
  • Website manager

We can now discern two broad categories: Relationships and Vocation.

Love and work…work and love, that’s all there is.

Sigmund Freud

Poet David Whyte, in his book The Three Marriages, describes a triumvirate of marriage-like commitments we should maintain for wholeness: marriage to our vocation, marriage to another (something or someone beyond ourselves), and marriage to ourselves. Brian Johnson, borrowing from Freud and Jim Loehr concurs. We have three ‘identities’ Johnson says: Energy (self), Work (our vocation), and Love (our relationships).

I encourage you to define these identities by name and description. Within these identities, you can consolidate or categorize your roles. Here are my current ones: “Hero in Training,” “Jedi Master” (very long story I’ll tell you someday over a beer), and “Heroic Husband.”

Understand these are not rigid or set in stone. They can and should be flexible enough to change with time. As you enter different phases of life you drop old commitments, and pick up new ones; relationships come and go.

Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.

Sigmund Freud

Work and Love. Two fundamental aspects of human existence. Freud’s two statements above encapsulate the significance of these two interdependent elements of our identity and purpose.

Love

Love in its various forms, plays a central role in the human experience. Encompassing romantic relationships, familial bonds, friendships, and even the casual wave to a neighbor or smile to the barista, love represents the emotional connection and support we seek and provide.

It is through love that we build connections, experience joy, and find comfort. It nurtures us, creating a safe space where we can be vulnerable. It shapes our relationships allowing us to form deep connections that foster growth.

Vocation

Without love, life might lack meaning and purpose. Work on the other hand represents the practical aspects of our lives. Through our vocations, we express our skills, contribute to society, and fulfill our ambitions.

Whether through an occupation, a hobby, or a passion project, engaging in work allows us to express ourselves, develop a sense of purpose, and feel a sense of accomplishment. Furthermore, vocation has the potential to enhance our self-esteem and provide financial stability. By investing our time and effort into a vocation, we also contribute to the collective progress of humanity.

The Dichotomy

In their symbiotic relationship, love and work interact and influence each other. Love can inspire and motivate us in our professional endeavors. Similarly, the fulfillment and satisfaction derived from our vocations can positively impact our relationships. When we find meaning and purpose in our vocation, we often bring a sense of contentment and stability to our love life.

Work-life balance is a myth. As with most dichotomies, there is a middle way, but it is not to be found in a balancing act. The phrase ‘work-life balance’ seems to imply that one is ‘good’ and the other ‘bad.’ But, work is part of life. It is more akin to Aristotle’s ‘golden mean.’ Too much and too little work is a vice. Same for life. Virtue then is found in the middle of both. Harmonizing the two promotes emotional and psychological well-being.

Often society places an overwhelming emphasis on work, equating success with professional achievements, material wealth, and recognition. This perspective can lead to a neglect of love and relationships. Similarly, an excessive focus on love without a sense of purpose or vocational fulfillment can also result in an unfulfilled existence. Finding an equilibrium then is essential for leading a meaningful and satisfying life.

By nurturing relationships and pursuing work that aligns with our passions and values, we cultivate a sense of fulfillment that permeates all aspects of our lives. This requires introspection and self-awareness. It involves understanding our priorities, values, and goals.

Energy of Self

How do we show up fully engaged in our relationships and vocation? As previously discussed, with full, positive energy. Energy management in four valences: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Covey details an energy renewal process he calls “Sharpen the Saw” in his 7 Habits book. He further recommends a one-hour “daily private victory” ritual in which you renew all four valences. Alternatively, you could scatter these throughout your week. I suggest you also have ‘rituals’ you can do to sustain your energy throughout the day and as an emergency bolus as needed at any time.

wood tool saw
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

“Sharpen the Saw” tends to go by the term ‘self-care’ nowadays, and you may have heard witticisms such as “put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” I like the older “an empty well draws no water.” Regardless the principle is the same: taking the time to renew the four valences makes us more effective in our life’s work and purpose.

Investing in self-care may seem indulgent on antithetical to productivity but it defends you against exhaustion and mental or emotional collapse. In addition, it increases your sense of agency, effectiveness, and competency.

We all have a moral obligation to the people who are important in our lives, as well as to ourselves, to learn and progress without ceasing.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

We are going to discuss them individually but know that they are interconnected. One renewing action may indirectly impact more than just the valence that it directly targets. For example, exercise improves, intentionally, your physical valence, but also your emotional life.

Physical

Sharpening the saw physically—exercising, eating the right foods, getting adequate rest, avoiding harmful substances, having regular physical checkups—significantly increases the likelihood that we’ll make good choices in decision moments. It also increases our options, as good health becomes a resource from which we can do so much more. Our body is a fundamental stewardship; it’s the instrument through which we work to fulfill all other stewardships and responsibilities.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Most everyone is aware of the big three: exercise, nutrition, and sleep. These three do the heavy lifting of the physical valence. Begin with these and make them non-negotiable. Once you get these dialed in you can start experimenting:

  • Naps
  • Hot and/or cold therapies
  • Massage and other bodywork
  • Nutritional supplementation

We’re talking here about maintenance and renewal, not training for the Olympics. If a specific sport is your thing, great. Just remember, the mistake most amateur athletes make is not enough recovery. We will talk later about training specific to growing your physical energy. Right now we are just talking about optimizing your current physical energy level. Test and experiment until you find a protocol that makes you feel tip-top.

Mental

Meaningful mental renewal empowers us to transcend the limited wisdom of our environment in decision moments and keeps our minds sharp and clear and well-exercised for ready use.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

If you are a knowledge worker (over 1 billion of us worldwide as of 2020) then you know the mental strain of the 8-10-12 hour workday. Many run this like an ultra-marathon. I would suggest instead a series of ‘sprints’ of no more than 90 minutes with a lengthy break (15 minutes?) before the next session. Another option is a version of the “Pomodoro” technique: 25 minutes on and 5 minutes off.

The key here is that you do anything but ‘work’ during the break period. No email, social media, texts, voicemail, Slack, or other messaging apps and services.

Probably one of the best things you could do for mental renewal during these breaks is something physical—a set of body weight exercises, quick up and down some flights of stairs, some sprints in the parking lot—“vigorous intermittent exercise activity,” aka: “exercise snacks.” Or take a walk, get some sun, drink some water, eat some protein, or a low glycemic index snack. Try five minutes of breathing exercises.

How about when you’re not at work? What are mentally renewing activities in those times? Here are some of my favorites, and, again, the idea is to stretch the mind, not flog it with more work:

  • Read “great works” of fiction
  • Read poetry
  • Thought-provoking podcasts
  • Study a new language
  • Learn to play a musical instrument
  • Take an online course
  • Attend a lecture at a local college, library, or ‘town hall’
  • Join a discussion group or book club
  • Visit a museum
  • Watch documentaries

Emotional

One of the best ways to educate our heart is to look at our interaction with other people, because our relationships with others are fundamentally a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

When we don’t listen to or live by our conscience, we tend to blame and accuse other people in an attempt to justify our inner dissonance. If we have a sense of mission and principles to measure ourselves against, we benchmark against other people instead of our own potential. We’re into comparative thinking and win-lose mentality. We become self-centered and autobiographical. We impose our motives on the actions of others. We see their strengths and weaknesses in terms of how they affect us. We empower their weaknesses to control us.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Covey called this valence “Social/Emotional,” whereas the Corporate Athlete materials refer to “Emotional.” Call it what you will, without emotional balance, your social life will be difficult. When your emotional energy is high and positive, you seem to glide with an even keel despite storms or choppy seas.

Specific to positive emotional energy renewal, try:

Spiritual

Renewing activities in the spiritual dimension—meditation, prayer, formal religious activity, altruistic service, studying the wisdom and ‘sacred’ literature, memorizing and reviewing a personal mission statement—nurture the big picture context and the contribution focus of ‘true north.’ This renewal plays a vital role in the education of the heart. It’s the basis for deciding what ‘first things’ are. It gives us the passion and the power to subordinate the less important to the more important. It empowers us to transcend the powerful influences of urgency and expediency.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Your core, your why (Simon Sinek), your inner citadel (Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius), and that “old roll top desk where you really keep your stuff” (Vice Admiral James Stockdale)—the spiritual energy valence—gives rise to your sense of purpose in life. It’s the fertile soil to propagate your ultimate mission, and the well you draw from to water and grow your grand strategy.

‘Spirituality’—just as practical as any other valence—can be a force multiplier for your vocations and love, leading to a more purpose-driven and fulfilling life.

Only he who is capable of a genuine encounter with the other is capable of an authentic encounter with himself, and the converse is equally true… From this perspective, every spiritual exercise is a dialogue, insofar as it is an exercise of authentic presence, to oneself and to others.

Pierre Hadot, Philosophy as a Way of Life

The way to spiritual energy renewal and growth is through habits of spiritual disciplines and practices:

  • Study scripture (what Covey calls “the great wisdom or sacred literature”)
  • Study Philosophy
  • Self-examination, a la Socrates
  • Silence/Solitude
  • Gratitude
  • Radical Compassion,” a la Tara Brach
  • Prayer
  • Meditation
  • Nature and “forest bathing
  • Journaling
  • Writing and reviewing your Ultimate Mission and Grand Strategy

Drafting Your Identities, Roles, & Mission Statement

By now you should have some idea of your roles and identities. From parts I and II of this series, you also should have some sense of your values, virtues, and character strengths. And don’t forget that thought experiment of visiting your funeral or the question “Who are you when you are at your best?”

All this is to say before you can live a meaningful life—pursuing eulogy virtues and flourishing—you need to know how you want people to talk about you so you can act now to make that scenario play out.

Following Covey’s advice we are not just making a list of ideals. Instead, he suggests a ‘constitution’ based on timeless and unchanging principles, virtues, and values that you want to embody.

Caveat Emptor

Two more things to remember: first, the end product isn’t as important as the process itself. It’s the journey, not the destination.

Writing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behavior with your beliefs.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The journey is the intentional thinking about what it means to you to live a good life. Furthermore, this is not a one-and-done. It’s a lifelong journey.

Which leads to caveat number two. For it to be useful you have to return to your ‘constitution’ over and over again. Both to check if your decision-making and actions are in alignment and as a spiritual practice for grounding the internal and external life.

Step 1: Set Aside Uninterrupted Time

As mentioned here you need blocks of uninterrupted time to do some ‘deep work.’ Two to four hours on a weekend—perhaps two on Saturday and two more on Sunday, or multiple Saturdays. Whatever best works for you.

If you don’t have ‘Walden Space’—quiet space at home—try a coffee shop, library, or natural park setting. Want to go deep? Check into a hotel room like Maya Angelou or J.K. Rowling.

Step 2: Identities & Roles

Covey recommends no more than six roles. We discussed the idea of three ‘marriages’ or identities (self, vocation, love). I tend to view this as a taxonomy of sorts. For example, the four valences are classified under ‘self’, husband under ‘love’, and writer under ‘work’.

Seen as a taxonomy, for some of my relationships, I can default to my love identity for decision-making. New projects or tasks? What does my vocation identity say? So for me, it starts looking something like this:

Work Identity: “Jedi Master”— Scholar/Teacher/Philosopher
Roles: retired law enforcement officer, website manager, coach/mentor, trainer

Step 3: Define the Why of Each Role

If you haven’t already, it’s time to define the high-level purpose of each identity and role. You may have some intrinsic sense of the purposes, but writing them out, and articulating them on paper, is therapeutic and results in a renewable, amendable document.

According to James Pennebaker, expressive writing allows you to openly acknowledge and accept emotions, being then able to give voice to blocked feelings, thereby constructing a meaningful story. Furthermore, you improve your ability to make causal links among life events and increase your capacity for introspection.

Write down the identity or role. One piece of paper for each role (or identity). Now think back to your funeral thought experiment. Write out the values, virtues, and character strengths—your best self—you want to embody in this role or identity. What do you want the people you affect in that role to say about you when you’re dead? Who are you when you are at your best in these roles? How do you embody these identities? What do you think? Say? Do?

Now take that and refine it, pair it down, and cut out any repetition. The more simple you can make these statements the better.

Step 4: Review Often & Amend as Needed

When to review? The most obvious time to review your mission statement is before any ‘big’ decisions and during any ‘major’ life change. The major life change can also prompt, or necessitate, amendment. Take retirement, for example. When I retired my vocational identity and roles changed in a major way. I needed to completely redefine my vocational identity and my roles.

Stephen Covey says to review your mission statement and purpose(s) once a week before determining your role-based goals and planning your weekly activities. The actions and tasks you prioritize that week then are in alignment, with your longer-term role-based goals, your identities and values, character strengths, principles, and virtues.

I used to follow David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD) weekly review and processing, then review my Grand Strategy document before planning my week. I’ve noticed that post-retirement, I am not doing that weekly (part of the reason for this whole refresher process). How I use GTD, how you might (or might not), and role-based goals, are the topics for future articles.

Wrap Up

Now you should have ‘Identities’ and ‘Roles’ defined with their purpose statements drafted. You should have recorded your top five character strengths, and maybe another five you want to work on developing. So too, your values and virtues, and maybe some principles aligned with these and in support of your identities and roles.

In the next article of this series, we will drop in the last components of personal leadership: role-based goals and commitments. Then I’ll show you how I formatted all of this in a ‘Grand Strategy.’

Until then review and continue to refine your identities and roles, and maybe start to consider what goals you might have for each of those.

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