Author: FEL_RUNNRX

On July 18th I, like other members of the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association, received an electronic mail message titled “Navigating Emotional Challenges as a Federal Law Enforcement Officer.” No author was credited, but it came from FLEOA’s Office of Mental Health and Peer Support Services. As I’ve done before, I decided to expand on the ideas in that e-mail. The e-mail presents five “Immediate” and five “Long-Term strategies” for emotional resilience.

These ten strategies are more properly called tactics, so before we get into those let’s define strategy versus tactics, agree on some strategy, and then flesh out the ten tactics.

Strategy Versus Tactics

The terms ‘strategy’ and ‘tactics’ come from military terminology as far back as Sun Tzu’s Art of War. They’ve been adapted to fit different usages such as business strategy.

Have you ever gone to the grocery store without a list or plan? Then tried to fix meals for the next week with a random assortment of groceries? There were probably things you needed but forgot to get, and maybe things you didn’t need that went to waste later that week. Meal planning and a grocery list is a strategy; shopping is the tactic.

Strategy

A strategy is an action plan that you will take in the future to achieve an end. These help you define your long-term goals and how you will achieve a goal. Strategy is the big-picture thinking.

Tactics

Tactics are the individual steps and actions that will get you where the strategy—the action plan or leader’s intent—wants you to go. Tactics zoom in on the nitty-gritty, dealing with the day-to-day operational and short-term objectives. They encompass concrete steps—the how-to steps to turn your overall plan into reality.

All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Sun Tzu illustrates that while tactics are more concrete and easier to see, an overarching strategy is equally important. The question should not be strategy versus tactics, but strategy and tactics. These are two sides of the same coin—both are necessary.

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before the defeat.

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

The Point Is?

Before we get deep into the tactical weeds, we should clarify our strategy. Why are we learning, training, and practicing these tactics? We need to make sure the tactics are suitable for the strategy. So, strategy first.

Fortunately, there’s some strategy in the email.

Being a federal law enforcement officer is a challenging and often thankless job. You can be hailed as a hero one moment and criticized harshly the next. Facing keyboard warriors, Monday morning quarterbacks, and those who have never walked in your shoes can take a significant emotional toll.
Navigating the emotional challenges of being a federal law enforcement officer requires resilience, support, and a strong sense of purpose.

FLEOA Office of Mental Health & Peer Support Services

If we want to be a federal law enforcement officer we should know it can be emotionally challenging. Facing these challenges requires “resilience, support, and a strong sense of purpose.” Part of our strategy then is to develop resilience, build support, and find a strong sense of purpose. Furthermore, we need career-length resilience, and the ability to tap into our resilience in the immediate face of stress and emotional adversity.

Stress

Emotional adversity, and challenge is ‘stress’. In 1936 Hans Selye defined stress as “non-specific responses from a variety of different kinds of stimuli.”

It is not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.

Hans Selye

Stress can be classified as acute, chronic, or episodic. Sources of law enforcement stress can be ‘operational,’ ‘organizational,’ or ‘critical incident.’ These are on top of the daily stress of living that everyone experiences.

Organizational stress is the stress generated by the organization—shifting priorities, changes in policy and procedure, audits, and inquiries—any time the employee perceives the agency is negatively affecting the attainment of basic needs.

Critical incident stress stems from being involved in a critical incident or ‘moral injury’. Moral injury refers to an injury to an individual’s moral conscience and values resulting from an act (of omission or commission) of perceived moral transgression. This produces profound emotional guilt and shame, and in some cases also a sense of betrayal, anger, and profound ‘moral disorientation.’

Operational stress is the idea of day-to-day stress of being in unknown dangerous or hazardous situations as a part of the “routine” of the job.

But stress is also information. From evolution theories and physical science laws, we know that adding or tolerating some noise in the system is how adaptation occurs. This is seen as annealing, catalysis, or genetic mutation. Perfect fidelity—a flat baseline—would disallow evolution or genetic shift. Noise, that is ‘information’ or ‘mutation,’ allows the organism to explore the full evolutionary spectrum or landscape.

Adopting the right attitude can change a negative stress into a positive one.

Hans Selye

Think of stress as a performance-enhancing drug. Eustress is good, has positive hormetic effects, and is performance enhancing. With proper dosing and recovery, your tolerance improves, your capacity increases, and you develop more resiliency. Distress is the wrong dose—too much at once or chronic use without recovery—and leads to psychological and physiological side effects.

Your vagus nerve extends from your brain stem through your neck into your chest and abdomen and connects your brain, heart, and gut. It helps to regulate your heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, digestion, and emotional state among other functions. If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, stress, fatigue, or any emotional health symptoms, it may mean that you have a poor vagal tone, and your vagus nerve needs some care.

Your body sends more information to your brain (afferent signals) than your brain does to your body (efferent signals). Your brain is constantly processing this information to determine responses—regulatory for homeostasis, and to fight, flee or collapse. A good vagal tone is important for:

• Lowering blood pressure and heart rate
• Managing stress and anxiety
• Regulating mood
• Decreasing inflammation or pain
• Delivering information between the brain and the gut
• Providing sensory information from the throat, lungs, and heart
• Regulating swallowing and speech

Symptoms of poor vagal tone may include:

• Anxiety/Depression/Poor emotional regulation
• High stress
• Being in constant flight-or-fight mode
• Lowered attention span
• Increased inflammation 
• Pain

‘Heart Rate Variability’ is an indicator of vagal tone. HRV is where the amount of time between your heartbeats fluctuates slightly. These normal variations are small, adding or subtracting a fraction of a second between beats. It may seem counterintuitive, but more variability is a good sign, indicating parasympathetic dominance and good vagal tone.

Another strategy, therefore, is to improve our vagal tone and heart rate variability through parasympathetic dominance. A balance between sympathetic and parasympathetic is what we are seeking. Most of us, especially LEOs, spend too much time in sympathetic dominance. We need to learn to relax and recover. Those are parasympathetic states.

The mind must be given [rest]—it will rise improved and sharper after a good break. Just as rich fields must not be forced—for they will quickly lose their fertility if never given a break—so constant work on the anvil will fracture the force of the mind. But it regains its powers if it is set free and relaxed for a while. Constant work gives rise to a certain kind of dullness and feebleness in the rational soul.

Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind

Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to prepare for, adapt to, and recover from stress, trauma, adversity, or challenge. By building greater ‘surge capacity’ you can face greater allostatic load—better prepared with greater emotional flexibility, make smarter decisions, and keep a cool head in challenging situations.

Resilience is not the absence of stress. At the core of resilience is the belief that in the very nature of crisis lies an opportunity for growth. Law enforcement officers accumulate the effects of chronic stress. It’s important to reflect on current stressors and habits and consider new tactics to incorporate into daily living that counter the negative outcomes of living with stress.

We have a capacity for energy. We expend this energy at every step. We can and must renew this energy as often as possible. Strategic and tactical recovery is the key. Recovery and a sense of control or agency are the difference between post-traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic growth.

Rather than a fixed characteristic, resilience is a capacity that we potentiate with life-long practice. Trusting we have both internal and external resources, resilience represents our ability to meet the challenges we encounter each day, with the least amount of negative consequences to our bodies, hearts, and minds.

We have to work to build our resilience. We have to work on it regularly. Our bodies innately hold the potential for resilience. We need only train and practice tapping into that innate potential by learning how to work respectfully and in partnership with our physiology.

Coherence

The trick here is to develop tactics that prepare us, help us to adapt by shifting and resetting energy, and allow us to sustain energy throughout the day. We need energy management techniques to prepare, adapt, recover, and sustain our physiology in a state of coherence.

A key to building resilience, coherence is not equivalent to relaxation. Coherence is a state of optimal functioning in which your physical systems are in sync and balanced, and your heart, mind, and emotions are working together in a coordinated manner. Coherence adds energy to the system. It conserves energy and is a state of self-regulation where you have greater control of your reactions.

Coherence is top-down and bottom-up balance. As Bassel van der Kolk wrote, it is being able to “hover calmly over your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and then taking your time to respond allowing the executive brain to inhibit, organize, and modulate the hard-wired automatic reactions preprogrammed into the emotional brain.” Bottom-up we can apply the parasympathetic break and reduce hyper-arousal, fine-tuning the alarm system with just a few intentional and atentional breaths.

Strategies

To summarize, “Being a federal law enforcement officer is emotionally challenging. Navigating the emotional challenges … requires resilience, support, and a strong sense of purpose.” To that end, we will learn, train, and practice (1) developing resilience through improved vagal tone and heart rate variability, (2) energy management techniques toward synchronicity and balance—coherence—of our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, (3) building and maintaining support systems, and (4) connecting with our strong sense of purpose.

The Tactics

The original e-mail divides these into short- and long-term. I will follow suit with a caveat: by short-term I mean in the moment of the emotional dis-regulation. All of the tactics should be practiced, or set up, ‘long-term’ so they are accessible ‘short-term’. ‘In the long-term’ I mean tactics to deploy regularly. Often practicing the long-term tactics regularly—deep breathing techniques for example—allows access to the tactical benefits in the short term—quickly gaining coherence between the initial contact and the closure with just a few deep breaths. With that in mind, I will reverse the order of the e-mail and start with long-term tactics.

Long-Term Tactics

The email lists five “Long-Term [Tactics] for Sustained Resilience”:

1. Build a Strong Support Network
2. Develop a Healthy Outlet
3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
4. Reflect on Your Motivation and Purpose
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Let’s take each of these in turn, reviewing what the email recommends, and build on that.

Build a Strong Support Network

Cultivate relationships with peers and mentors who can provide guidance, support, and a listening ear. Being part of a supportive community can help you navigate difficult times.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

Notice this says “support,” not ‘social’ network. The depth of your relationships far outweighs the breadth of your ‘followers,’ ‘likes,’ or ‘friends’ on social media platforms.

Research indicates that social isolation increases the likelihood of mortality by about 30%, but strong relationships have a protective effect and increase survival by 50%. By providing a social forum for voluntarily expressing emotions, struggles, fears, and life challenges, peer support combats this loneliness, which is often associated with chronic physical and mental health conditions, leading to a downward spiral with each exacerbating the other.

While our core values emphasize serving others, we often don’t seek help when our health is at risk. While we may be able to endure hardships without complaints, we may not be aware of our early warning signs of distress. While we strive to perform perfectly in high-stakes environments, we can feel ashamed when we can’t do it all, make mistakes, or slow down to care for ourselves. Recognizing the signs of severe and persistent distress in oneself or a fellow officer and taking steps to lessen the severity is critically important. Practicing self-care or helping connect a fellow officer with a trusted source of support may help prevent stress reactions from progressing into clinical mental health conditions, physical health conditions, or significant life impairment.

Peer support can be identified as a form of help offered by a peer (or group of peers) who have gone through similar situations. This can be social, practical, or emotional. More importantly, this support is mutually provided and reciprocated, thus allowing, everyone to benefit. The type of assistance provided can be more of a friendship or more like mentoring or informal coaching. Regardless of the form of support provided, the lived experiences of the peer group supporter are the most essential part of the service.

Chris Cagle, US Forest Service Law Enforcement & Investigations Peer Support briefing paper

Peer support has been identified as an effective approach to enhance emotional well-being. By adopting a common language, increasing social connectedness, and providing both emotional and tactical support for day-to-day stressors, peer support is a low-cost, effective service that can promote awareness among law enforcement officers, and reduce stigma merely by providing a platform for discussion. Peer support also provides opportunities for peers to assist others who are going through difficult situations. Many studies have shown that helping others, regardless of receiving any support in return, has great psychological benefits. For adults, giving to others through activities such as volunteering or providing emotional support improves well-being and reduces mortality.

Peer support leads to greater empowerment by providing hope, a sense of personal responsibility, and advocacy of self and community. In addition, good peer support fosters trust, acceptance, understanding, and compassion. The sense of belonging and access to a support network for both emotional support and tactical resources can help address some of the most debilitating and costly chronic mental and physical health conditions today. Moreover, peer support directly contributes to the protective factors for mental well-being by enhancing control, increasing resilience and community assets, facilitating participation, and promoting inclusion.

Develop a Healthy Outlet

Engage in activities that help you de-stress and decompress. Exercise, hobbies, and creative pursuits can provide a necessary release for pent-up emotions.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

There is no better place to start than daily physical activity, sufficient sleep, and healthy eating. Recovery from stress is tantamount to both short- and long-term resilience. Review your daily and weekly routines, and make sure you focus on each of these components. Recovery is the most overlooked part of daily schedules—it can be as simple as a walk, meditating, breathing exercises, or a quiet hobby.

Creative pursuits abound: writing, painting, sculpting, modeling, and DIY projects. The primary goal is to disengage your mind from work and the stresses thereof. Engage it in something else that requires focus and concentration. Reading—fiction and non-fiction (outside of your career)—works here too. I tend to dig into philosophy, poetry, and ‘big’ fiction (like Moby Dick, of course).

Various ‘spiritual practices’—both theological and philosophical—can help you mentally and emotionally restore. These could include attending formal religious institutions and ceremonies, or private prayer and ritual. It could also be like those described by Pierre Hadot in Philosophy as a Way of Life and The Inner Citadel. Speaking of ‘spiritual exercises’…

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your routine to help manage stress and maintain emotional balance. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness exercises can enhance your resilience.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

First a few distinctions. ‘Mindfulness’ comes in two flavors: formal and informal. Washing the dishes ‘mindfully’ is an informal practice. Meditation is a formal practice. ‘Deep breathing’ exercises can be done ‘mindfully,’ and in formal meditation practice, your breath can be the focal point. Breathing techniques independent of meditation can also be practiced for various benefits similar to mindfulness.

Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgemental awareness. It can be cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally in the present moment and sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding.

John Kabat Zin

Mindfulness as an informal practice helps our moment-to-moment perception, John Boyd’s ‘observation’ phase of the OODA loop.

[Regarding mindful perception] you have mistaken a coiled rope for a snake; with practice your awareness is such that the ‘snake’ will more rapidly collapse into the reality of ‘just rope’.

Sam Harris, Waking Up app

Let’s modify Harris’s metaphor to better illustrate its usefulness to federal law enforcement officers You have mistaken a cell phone for a gun… I think you can figure out the rest. Of course the opposite is just as dangerous.

Research suggests that meditation, or mindfulness, may protect the brain from the negative effects of stress by decreasing ruminative thoughts and distractions. Reducing rumination may decrease distress and may even promote compassion and altruism.

One mechanism by which meditation protects the brain is through the production of gamma waves – a sign of neuroplasticity, which is linked to a capacity to learn new things and change synapses as a consequence of new behaviors. Neuroplasticity makes your brain more resilient and slows cognitive aging.

Meditation also increases the brain’s gray matter – the area of the brain associated with working memory and executive decision-making. Gray matter is also where the omega­-3 fatty acid DHA is enriched. DHA protects the brain against cognitive decline. As we age, our brains atrophy and we lose some of that gray matter. However meditation may increase brain volume in areas of the brain related to learning, memory, neurotransmitter production, empathy, compassion, attention, and self-relevance, while decreasing the activity of the amygdala, the area of the brain involved in anxiety and fear.

Not only does meditation slow cognitive aging, but it also slows biological aging by slowing the shortening of telomeres, protecting your DNA. Studies by telomere experts Elizabeth Blackburn at UCSF and Elisa Epel show that meditation buffers the stress that shortens telomeres and activates the gene that encodes for the enzyme telomerase, which can extend the length of telomeres.

Let me connect the dots here. Meditation and the ability to maintain present-state awareness (aka ‘mindfulness’) that comes with the practice up-armors the brain, balances the mind both top-down and bottom-up, and—bonus force multiplier—is the ultimate situational-awareness performance-enhancing tool.

For me, the “breathing technologies” of HeartMath were a gateway to formal meditation. As a certified HeartMath coach and mentor, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention three of their strategies. “Prep” to set the tone and be more composed for the day or event; “Shift and Reset” as soon as possible after a stress reaction or challenging situation; “Sustain” your resilience throughout the day by establishing regular practices to refresh your composure between activities.

With these three strategies in hand, you will more effectively regulate your energy, replenish your surge capacity, and increase your resilience. A hallmark of the HeartMath self-regulation techniques is that you can use them rapidly on the go, which is the best time to plug energy leaks, recharge, and make more effective choices in challenging situations.

The value of “Prepping” cannot be overemphasized. The purpose is to ensure that before entering a challenging situation, you are in a more resilient and composed state. Then you can meet the challenge and respond optimally. Consider using one of the coherence tactics to practice the “Prep” strategy before the work shift starts or potentially stressful events such as ‘hot calls,’ tactical operations, entering dangerous environments, critical communications, traffic stops, or meetings.

“Shift and Reset” is for re-stabilizing your energy systems throughout the day. When we have stress reactions we are wasting energy. It benefits us greatly to shift and reset as quickly as possible. This saves a lot of energy and, in many situations, avoids prolonged stress and time loss. Do not underestimate how much of your resilience is affected by regularly occurring energy drain. When you find yourself challenged, use one of the tactics as soon as you can to shorten the time you are out of sync. By applying the parasympathetic break, you spend less time in the catabolic hyper-cortisolemic state. This helps reduce energy drains while restoring self-composure.

“Sustaining” coherence helps maintain your resilience throughout the day. Without a conscious effort to sustain coherence and reduce energy-draining emotions, we can automatically fall prey to feelings of irritation, anxiety, worry, frustration, judgement, and self-doubt. Our responses become automatic and mechanical and we act before the ‘watchtower’ (rational, prefrontal cortex) can intervene. Stay ahead of stress and the resulting depletion by recharging your inner batteries regularly throughout the day. Your capacity must exceed demand and since you can rarely predict demand, it’s a best practice to be as fully charged as possible.

Now the two techniques: “Heart-Focused Breathing” and “Quick Coherence Technique.”

“Heart-focused breathing” is an effective technique to take the charge out of a stress reaction and start shifting into a more coherent state. It’s a simple technique that helps turn down the volume of stress. Combining the simple act of focusing on the heart area, with a deeper and slower pace of breathing, helps draw energy away from your distressed thoughts and feelings. You interrupt your sympathetic nervous system and apply the acetylcholine break to become more parasympathetic dominant, which is reflected in more coherent heart rhythms (heart rate variability) and significantly improves your mental capacity.

The technique: Focus your attention on the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area; breathe a little slower and deeper than usual – maybe a four-count inhalation and a five-count exhalation.

That’s it. Simple, right? But, you need to train with this technique and practice it in real situations, as often as possible, to make it second nature. Breathing is one of the few body functions that is under both conscious and autonomic control. Controlling breathing controls heart rate. Every exhale activates the parasympathetic break (top-down), slows the heart, and dials down the ‘smoke alarm’ (amygdala sensitivity). The longer the exhale, the more parasympathetic activation. Focussing attention on the heart may sound like ‘woo,’ but what you are doing is allowing the ‘watchtower’ to check in with the heart via the vagal nerve.

Let’s talk about the second technique: “Quick Coherence.” The next important step in replenishing your energy levels and resilience is to experience a higher ratio of regenerative feelings such as appreciation, compassion, courage, dignity, integrity, and other energy-renewing feelings.

Step one: Repeat the Heart-Focused Breathing technique. Step two: Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life. As I breathe in I mentally repeat the words “Courage,” “Wisdom,” “Justice,” and “Moderation” because these are things I want to receive. As I breathe out I mentally repeat the words “Appreciation,” “Gratitude,” “Compassion,” and “Awareness,” because these are things I want to give or share.

With practice, you can do both steps in one breath cycle. Shift your focus to your heart as you inhale, and activate a positive feeling as you exhale. With more practice, you can reach a coherent state with three breath cycles. Use the Quick Coherence Technique whenever you recognize energy-draining moments, however subtle. Self-activating and renewing emotions leads to greater resilience.

Reflect on your Motivation and Purpose

Revisit the reason you chose this profession. Reflect on the impact you have made and the lives you have touched. This can reignite your sense of purpose and strengthen your resolve.

FLEOA OMH & PSS e-mail

To “reflect on your motivation and purpose” assumes you have a purpose and are aware of your motivations. Throughout my years of peer support and coaching, I have found that people have some vague ideas of their motivations and purpose, but don’t have them well articulated. This means, at the time of need, under some mental or emotional distress, your purpose is unavailable to help in decision-making. Without this foundation, we risk saying and doing things in violation of our deepest-held beliefs and values, and not in the direction of our ‘north star.’

People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time—even when hard at work.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

The scientific evidence indicates Eudaemonia, or ‘flourishing’, comes from a positive, self-determined, self-transcending purpose. We are teleological and purpose-driven. Our most potent, vigorous, and sustaining sense of purpose occurs when we transcend self-interest. We are nourished when the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ is intrinsic and other-centered.

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life … Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s talk is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

Viktor Frankl

For the purpose of, well, finding your purpose, the Human Performance Institute suggests you set aside time to ask yourself and answer the following questions:

1. What legacy do you want to leave behind? Or, how do you want to be remembered?
2. How do you want people to describe you?
3. Who do you want to be?
4. Who/what matters most to you?
5. What are your deepest values?
6. How would you define success in life?
7. What makes your life worth living?

Here are a few more:

1. How would you like to hear people eulogize you at your funeral?
2. What is worth denying for?
3. What one-sentence inscription would you like to see on your tombstone?

In answering these questions we can, as Viktor Frankl said, detect true rather than invent false missions.

That was the briefest of treatments; sorry. Any more than this is beyond the scope of this article. You could go here for more depth. What’s important is that you write this down. Then you can revisit it in daily or weekly journaling exercises. Over time this practice fortifies in the mind an ‘inner citadel’, protecting your core values and beliefs, allowing you access to your moral compass and guiding principles even in times of duress.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

Don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional if the emotional toll becomes overwhelming. Therapy can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing stress and maintaining wellness.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

I don’t have a lot to add here. I would offer, that you should not wait until “the emotional toll is overwhelming.” I know there are immediately available resources such as your agency EAP, but I believe it’s better to get established and comfortable with a therapist at any hint of need.

I can say this: I have been to several talk therapy sessions with a family therapist; I have participated in psychologist-led group therapy; I had eight Cognitive Behavioral Therapy sessions with another psychologist. I have also been through a battery of tests by a “neuro-psychologist” to determine if I have any signs of traumatic brain injury or neuro-degeneration like early onset Alzheimers. I’ve also been evaluated by a psychiatrist for post-traumatic stress disorder. None of these sessions were any more weird than the first time I got a full-body massage.

I will add, that when in doubt return to long-term tactic number one. Engage your support network. Call up a peer support team member. Peer support can be your first step, a bridge, to professional psychotherapy.

Long-term benefits of therapy include:

1. Practical coping mechanisms to manage stress and problem-solving
2. Development of self-support systems
3. Improved mental health—increased mood and reduced anxiety
4. Identification of and insight into negative thought patterns, allowing for the development of a more positive, realistic life outlook
5. According to the American Psychological Association, up to 80% improvement in mental health symptoms

Short-Term Tactics

In case I didn’t make it clear before, long-term tactics should be practiced consistently.

That’s why the philosophers warn us not to be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training. For as time passes we forget what we learned and end up doing the opposite, and hold opinions the opposite of what we should.

Epictetus, Discourses

But, in consistently practicing, you set yourself up to access and implement your “immediate” tactics “to maintain your mental wellness, stay motivated, and continue to serve with dedication and integrity.”

The email lists five “Immediate [Tactics] for Emotional Resilience:”

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
2. Pause and Breathe
3. Maintain Perspective
4. Seek Support
5. Focus on the Facts

As before we will look at each, one at a time, reviewing what the email suggests, and build on that. We will also connect these tactics to the long-term tactics as appropriate, to show how they support each other.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Recognize and accept your emotions. It’s normal to feel hurt, frustrated, or angry when facing unwarranted criticism. Denying these feelings can lead to more significant issues down the line.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

Even the most stoic of Stoics did not counsel students to suppress emotions. They taught that often emotions—first impressions, as Epictetus called them—are impossible to suppress. Recognizing this then we are challenged to decide which and to what degree we assent to the emotions.

Make it your practice to confront every strong impression with the words, “You are but an impression, and not the source of the impression.” Then test and assess it with your criteria; and first by this—the chief test of all—“Is this something that is or is not in my control?”

Epictetus, Discourses

Emotions color our thoughts. These thoughts though—tainted as they are by mood, nutrition and hydration, past experiences, media, and a host of other internal and external factors—are not facts. Thoughts and emotions are just mental events that come and go like clouds in the sky.

Decisions, not conditions, determine what a man is.

Viktor Frankl

Recognizing, acknowledging, and naming your emotions helps you to manage them better. By acknowledging that you have emotions, and not judging yourself harshly for it, you are better set to maintain perspective, rather than succumb to ruminating, negative thought patterns.

The long-term tactics of mindfulness meditation, and therapy (especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) are a force multiplier here. Mindfulness meditation cultivates an awareness of your thoughts and emotions, reducing biased thinking and promoting a balanced perception of reality. With practice, moment-to-moment mindfulness is more the norm, giving you the ability to step back from automatic reactions and check reality leading to improved mental clarity and better orientation—better OODA looping.

One of the most powerful tools I earned in my eight CBT sessions is the application of the “ABC model” for building self-awareness. ABC is an acronym for “Antecedents” (or activating event, aka ‘trigger’), “Behavior” (and/or beliefs), and “Consequences” (of the belief or behavior). You start by writing these down as they come up. I was told to either write them down when I thought of them or to make them part of my evening journal practice.

Next, you add the letters “D” and “E” which stand for “Disputing” and “Exchanging” (or effects). You ‘dispute’ the automatic emotions, beliefs, and thought patterns—as Epictetus says “test and assess with your criteria.” Then you ‘exchange’ the irrational, false, or unhelpful with new balanced thoughts and beliefs. Now answer, “What are the ‘effects’ of the exchange?”

This is a process you should practice daily. That said (and I know I sound like a broken record here), with consistent practice, it becomes a tactic you can access and apply quickly as your recognized and named activating events arise.

Pause and Breathe

Take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself. This can help reduce the immediate emotional impact and prevent rash reactions.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

Remember back in long-term tactic number three, where I mentioned HeartMath breathing techniques? Here’s where the practice of “Heart-Focused Breathing” and “Quick Coherence” comes in handy to “Shift and Reset.” As I previously wrote, with consistent practice you can shift and reset to a state of coherence in just a few breaths.

So what can we add? You can use the acronym “W.I.N.”—“What’s Important Now?” If you are feeling overwhelmed first, take a deep breath, hold it for a second, and try to inhale deeper. Now exhale slow and long—really long—until you bottom out. Now breathe normally and make a list of the things that are within your control right now. This is effectively what Jocko Willink calls “Detach”—by dumping all the CO2 out of your lungs with a long exhale, you are more parasympathetic dominate and can think clearer, rising above the “problem” to look around at the whole scene. Next, consciously commit to focusing and acting on those things, rather than the ones beyond your total control — which if it helps, you can also list. Extra points if you can recognize some things on that list you can influence, or some things outside of your control that you can perceive and thus make contingencies for.

Now, as Jocko would suggest, “Prioritize and Execute.” Complete the OODA Loop—decide and act. Take an action, however small. Just a five-minute action is all it takes to feel in control, to feel you have agency. A five-minute action is something very small; it’s an action—something you do; it’s something that feels easy and simple; it moves you in the direction you want to go.

Have more time? Wipe the slate clean with ‘Self-Compassion’ with a R.A.I.N. Meditation. “R.A.I.N.” is an acronym for Recognize what is happening right now—name it; Allow the experience without judgement—it is not good or bad it just is; Investigate with interest and care—how does the experience make you feel; Nurture yourself with self-compassion as to not identify with the emotions—I feel angry, rather than I am angry. With that, you can wipe the slate clean—each moment is fresh. Whatever happened yesterday or one hour ago is irrelevant to your ‘now’.

Maintain Perspective

Remind yourself that criticism often comes from those who lack a full understanding of your job and the complexities you face. Their judgements do not define your worth or competence.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

I heard somewhere, a podcast perhaps, that someone else’s opinion of me is none of my business. As Marcuse Aurelius wrote, “The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.” As the email says, the critiques are from “those who lack full understanding.”

When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside, and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Sticking with the lessons from Stoicism (and from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), I found this well-articulated example:

Consider a common example: someone insults you, possibly with intent to hurt you. There are several things you should contemplate on such occasions. First off, was the ‘insult’ actually a valid criticism? In that case, you should accept it gratefully and attempt to do better. Was the criticism false? Then the joke’s on the other guy, since he is uttering something demonstrably wrong.
“Second, are you positive that the intent was to hurt you? Maybe the other person said what he said in good faith, or without thinking carefully, or based on the premise that he had a right to say it. Unless you are sure about his motives, giving him the benefit of the doubt is going to go a long way toward defusing the situation.
“Finally, what if the fellow really wanted to hurt you? It follows from the dichotomy of control that the attempt is up to him, but the outcome is actually up to you. Only if you react in a way to show that you are, indeed, offended, will the barb have achieved its goal, the arrow hit its target. But as Epictetus tells his students: “Remember that it is we who torment, we who make difficulties for ourselves—that is, our opinions do. What for instance does it mean to be insulted? Stand by a rock and insult it, and what have you accomplished? If someone responds to insult like a rock, what has the abuser gained with his invective?

Massimo Pigliucci, How to Live a Good Life, chapter 5: Stoicism

Seek Support

“Reach out to trusted colleagues, friends, or family members who understand your challenges. Sharing your experiences can provide relief and perspective.” —FLEOA OMH & PSS email

This tactic, of course, goes back to the long-term tactics of building a strong support network and seeking professional help if needed. Seeking support is easier to do if you have a strong support network already in place.

This tactic adds another level of support, recommending family members and friends. I strongly believe in the benefits of friends (and hobbies) outside of your agency, even outside the confines of your profession. This provides a double buffer from sources of stress and a more biased ear—that is, biased in your favor—but also untainted by coworkers, supervisors, etcetera.

Focus on the Facts

Stay grounded in the reality of your actions and decisions. Reflect on the facts of the situation rather than the emotional tone of the criticism.

FLEOA OMH&PSS e-mail

Here we can drop back to things we discussed in the “Acknowledge Your Feelings” tactic. Specifically the ABCDE model from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Also informal mindfulness and formal meditation help here. We can also consider adding prosoché—Stoic mindfulness—as another practice.

Mindfulness is intentional, non-judgemental attention in the present moment. Prosoché is an ancient Greek word for ‘focused attention’. The word was used by the Stoics to describe having a present moment, focused attention on virtue and what is under our control or ‘up to us’.

Instead of living focused on the past—regret—or on the unknown future—anxiety—we should focus on facts of the present moment, and determine what is within our control. What can you take action on right now? Jocko Willink would say now all you have to do is prioritize and execute the actions. Focus on the facts rather than the emotional tone, then proactively do what you can within your spheres of control and influence.

Is That All?

I know all that sounds like a lot to do or think about. Fortunately, you don’t have to do all of them to see benefits. Any small step you take towards emotional flexibility and balance will help you to feel better and more in control. You’ll be more resilient. Also, these tactics cross over and support one another. Learn one and the others come easier.

As the philosophers say, first learn. Then train for proficiency. Then consistently practice every day.

The flâneur, a captivating emblem of urban experience and modernity, originating from the lively streets of 19th-century Paris encapsulates a distinctive way of engaging with the cityscape. From the literal translation of “stroller,” “lounger,” and “loafer,” the term evolved to denote a philosophical stance toward life and the metropolitan environment.

What’s this then about an ‘anxious’ flâneur? That’s what this article is all about. I believe that embracing a modern flâneur mindset or philosophy in this new (to me) city is just what the doctor ordered. No, really, I think my therapist would approve. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let’s go back to nineteenth-century Paris to see where this all started, and work our way forward from there.

Flâneur is from the Old Norse verb flana—to wander with no purpose. The word flânerie dates back to the 16th or 17th century, meaning “to stroll or idle,” that is, “to waste time walking aimlessly.” It was in the 19th century that the word began to take on more depth of meaning. Several authors added a rich constellation of meanings and associations to its first recorded definition in 1872 as a stroller, lounger, saunterer, or loafer.

Sainte-Beuve wrote flânerie “is the very opposite of doing nothing,” and Honré de Balzac likened flânerie to “the gastronomy of the eye.” Earlier in 1867, in What One Sees in the Streets of Paris, Victor Fournel called flânerie an art—a way of understanding the rich variety of the city landscape.

The poet Charles Baudelaire advanced Fournel’s ideas in an essay titled The Painter of Modern Life (1863). Therein he describes the “perfect flâneur…the passionate spectator…to feel oneself everywhere at home; to see the world, to be at the center of the world, and yet to remain hidden from the world.” Baudelaire described the flâneur as a gentleman stroller and passionate wanderer of city streets. Further, he was an avid observer and connoisseur of the urban experience, able to find beauty in life’s transient, fugacious aspects.

In an analysis of the poetry of Baudelaire, and extracting from Fournel, Walter Benjamin described the flâneur as an amateur detective and investigator of the city. Here, we see the flâneur as an anonymous figure who navigates the city with a detached yet observant demeanor. Invisible amidst the urban crowds, they can witness the ebb and flow of city life without direct engagement or influence. With a thoughtful synthesis of active engagement with the urban environment and a detached observation of society, the flâneur traverses the city with no more purpose than to soak in the nuances of urban life.

According to Susan Sontag (1977), the flâneur can observe and report thanks to the development of handheld cameras.

The [street] photographer is an armed version of the solitary walker reconnoitering, stalking, cruising the urban inferno, the voyeuristic stroller who discovers the city as a landscape of voluptuous extremes. Adept of the joys of watching, connoisseur of empathy, the flâneur finds the world ‘picturesque’.

Susan Sontag

A more recent addition to the nuanced definition comes from Nassim Taleb. In his 2012 book Antifragile, he introduces the idea of a “rational flâneur” who seeks optionality and freedom through opportunism. Since you can’t predict the future, he says, you stand to gain more by keeping your options open rather than rigid planning. His flâneur is a self-learner and experimenter who is never the prisoner of a plan.

Flâneur Moderne

From all of this, we can distill some characteristics of a modern flâneur which I can ‘practice’ as part of my practical philosophy.

A flâneur moderne is a peripatetic wanderer.

Peripatetic: of, relating to, or given to walking. Remember that white feather in Forest Gump? Remember Forest Gump’s seemingly accidental involvement in all sorts of history? That’s the freedom of wandering ‘aimlessly’ the modern flâneur seeks. Their atelic meandering differs in one way from Gump’s. They are highly aware that the best things in life happen as a matter of chance.

So while the walk is atelic, there is a goal. It opens up an infinite number of new chance encounters. In searching for what it is they do not know, they are forced to see beyond their worldview. It is through not seeking that the flâneur moderne finds.

A Flâneur Moderne is an observer.

Every person encountered conceals a story. Every sight you see hides an insight. Modern flâneurs are passionate observers with a discerning gaze and high observational skills. The flâneur moderne goes through life seeing the world as if for the first time. Or, at least trying to.

A Flâneur Moderne is a documentarian.

One way for them to be useful is to document their experience. Knowledge, ideas, reviews, and insights from the journey can be a boon to others. Like a documentarian, the flâneur moderne can return with inspiration, images, thoughts, memories, and experiences for posterity or future creative endeavors. By recording their journey, they can share their learning and failures.

A Flâneur Moderne is an experimenter.

Discovery and growth are found on the other side of fear and beyond the comfort zone. As Nassim Taleb writes, it is through experimentation, “rational but undirected trial-and-error-based research,” while staying opportunistic, that the flâneur finds and maintains freedom.

It is through hardship and failure that we become more robust. It is through seeking randomness that life becomes vital and quickening.

A Flâneur Moderne focuses on the present.

Burdened by, as Baudelaire put it, “the tyranny of circumstance,” the flâneur thrives on the present moment. When wandering purposelessly in foreign environments, thinking about long-term personal goals takes a back seat to the present-moment cacophony of experience. Granted, the occasional epiphany may arise, but ’schedules,’ ‘systems,’ and ‘productivity’ are set aside.

Mindfulness has been described as “watching the traffic go by without getting hit by it”—so too flânerie. The focus is on observation, orientation, and in-the-moment decision-making.

A Flâneur Moderne seeks meaning.

They probe the unknown, beyond the comfort of the ‘normal world’, in search of what makes them better. And on the occasion a dragon is slain and the magic elixir won, they seek to bring that back for all to benefit.

Flânerie then transcends aimless wandering or idleness. It becomes, rather, a search for what resonates deeply, for that which speaks to the soul. While trying to remain attuned to the true essence of things, the flâneur moderne comes to better understand themselves in the world.

Flâneur Inquiet?

Inquiet is the French word for anxious. I don’t consider myself an anxious person—I don’t worry much at all. I do, however, have some negative beliefs and a fear accompanying that worldview. These lend to thoughts, behaviors, and actions that are sometimes protective, but more often not. All that together gets me a diagnosis of “general anxiety disorder.” Given my retirement, the quotidian parts of life dominate, making those thoughts, behaviors, and actions more often a hindrance.

Two ways I have previously dealt with my anxiety and fear are avoidance of anxiety-provoking events or environments, and “safety props.”

Safety Props

Let’s talk safety props first. Think of these as the Boy Scouts’ “ten essentials” on steroids. Flashlights, lighters, knives, first aid kits, gunshot wound trauma kits, emergency bivy, extra clothes, fire starters… As you can see this list can quickly get out of control. Add to this the idea that “two is one and one is none,” and this can quickly become an unmanageable load.

Once you get all this kit together, you still risk private businesses or events giving a hard “no” to any of that on their premises. The easiest example is air travel and its TSA gatekeepers.

The cognitive behavioral therapy answer to this is two-fold. First, learn to be comfortable with the discomfort of leaving that stuff behind. Or, slowly over time (though I guess you could try the cold turkey approach), reduce your load by asking, “Is the reason I’m carrying this factual?” and “What is the probability of real need?”

At the outset, life is almost as inert as matter; … But life was not content with this stay-at-home existence of the plant; always its advances have been away from security towards freedom; away from carapaces, scales, and hides, and other burdensome protections, to the ease and perilous liberty of the bird. “So the heavy Hoplite was supplanted by the legionary; the knight, clad in armor, had to give place to the light free-moving infantryman; and in a general way, in the evolution of life, just as in the evolution of human societies and of the individual destinies, the greatest successes have been for those who accepted the heaviest risks.” (Heri Bergson, Creative Evolution, 1907). So, too, man has ceased to evolve new organs on his body; he makes tools and weapons instead, and lays them aside when they are not needed, rather than carry all his armament at every step, like those gigantic fortresses, the mastodon and the megatherium, whose heavy security lost them the mastery of the globe. Life may be impeded, as well as aided, by its instruments.

Will Durant, The Story of Philosophy

I will always carry some version of the ten essentials, however, in a metropolitan environment, I recognize (and this was hard at first) that I can greatly reduce my burden and become more approachable. Being more approachable and comfortable with a reduced load has several benefits to flânerie. More ease of movement for one. Better engagement with others more importantly.

Avoidance

The most reliable way of overcoming anxiety and situational avoidance is the maxim: FEAR—Face Everything And Recover. Supported by numerous clinical trials, the principle of facing your fears until your anxiety reduces is one of the cornerstones of CBT.

The key here is dosage control. Or, in physical fitness terms, how many repetitions per set, how many sets, and how much total load? The answer is “it depends.”

My therapist put it this way: expose yourself to the situation or environment for as long as it takes for your stress response to subside, then (and only then), withdraw. Return and do it again. You may notice that it takes less time for your stress to subside with each exposure.

During these ‘confrontations’, aim for ‘manageable exposure’. That way you can successfully experience facing your fears and mastering them. Too easy and you won’t progress. Too hard and you may resort to escape, avoidance, or safety behaviors.

It is with instincts as with organs; they are the tools of the mind; and like all organs that are attached and permanent, they become burdens when the environment that needed them has disappeared. Instinct comes ready-made, and gives decisive—and usually successful—responses to stereotyped and ancestral situations; but it does not adapt to organism change, it does not enable man to meet the fluid complexities of modern life. It is the vehicle of security, while intellect is the organ of an adventurous liberty. It is life taking on the blind obedience of the machine.

Will Durrant, The Story of Philosophy

How to Flânerie for the Flâneur Moderne et Inquiet

Or more correctly, how I will try and some discussion as to why I will do it a certain way.

You have your way, I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

Friedrich Nietzsche

First, let’s review the beginning of this article and flesh out a mindset or philosophy. We should have a clear ‘Why’ before we proceed to the ‘hows’ and ‘whats’. In essence, a flâneur moderne synthesizes a slower pace of life, a keen interest in their surroundings, and a curious outlook.

“Curiosity and Interest” is one of my character strengths, so I’ll lean into that. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

Flânerie is about immersion, observing, and embracing the unexpected. Curiosity is my compass as I delve into the city, savoring its details, and appreciating its nuances and complexities. Add to that the ability to report my findings.

Now, how? To follow are several strategies and tactics that I’ll use for my flânerie.

(1) Reduce my kit. I’m purchasing a smaller bag for everyday carry (EDC), which will require me to reduce my EDC load. I’m also getting something less ‘tactical’ or military (my wife’s main complaint).

(2) Walk, don’t rush. I am not in a hurry.

(3) Research but don’t overplan. What does this look like? For example, I recently went to an area called “Coventry Village” because I needed to go to a store there (BLICK Art, for my highlighter fix). I looked at Apple Maps and found Mayfield Cemetary to be across the street. This runs into Lakeview Cemetary. The Garfield Memorial is there (as in the often forgotten but very important to Cleveland, President Garfield). According to another app, there are several historical sites in the area as well. That’s it. That’s all the research I did.

(4) Speaking of research, use technology wisely. Technology—smartphones, and apps are handy for navigation, information, documentation, and even emergencies, but don’t let them make decisions for you or hinder the adventure.

(5) Document the journey. I’ll record journeys and review my findings here at Whale Lines.

(6) Stay flexible and maintain a positive, open-minded attitude.

(7) I can connect flânerie to a destination such as a specific store (as in the example above), or even to a historical or cultural destination, but not to a series. A series of destinations isn’t flânerie; it’s errands. That tends to create a sense of urgency in the day and is a barrier to optionality and exploration.

There was no where to go but everywhere.

Jack Kerouac

As a kid, I tended to be wide-eyed and curious roaming freely and unburdened by life’s responsibilities. But as for most, life became increasingly rushed, pre-planned, and devoid of randomness.

Today we are constantly connected, over-informed (sometimes falsely), never open to boredom, and stuck in the predictable. We’ve become addicted to bite-sized information and allergic to contemplative thought.

I am going to push back through unhurried exploration, embracing chance encounters, celebrating uncertainty and diversity, and taking more rational risks.

The way of the Flâneur Moderne et Inquiet promotes prosochê (Greek – attention, diligence, Stoic mindfulness) and a sharpening of perception. This in turn opens you up to a sense of awe and wonder within the complexities of the metropolis or the simplest of neighborhoods.

In case you missed it in Part III of this series, we fleshed out our identities and roles. We stopped short then of drafting your mission statement. I find it easier to walk backward from our concrete roles and identities into our abstract values and mission. These are easier to understand and articulate if you’ve thought about how you want them to affect the various spheres of your life and the specific actions you need to take.

I was also delaying, as much as possible, giving you examples of others’ mission statements. That is to not tempt you to copy others. This is about writing YOUR script in alignment with YOUR values. We are blindly accepting the scripts given to us by culture. This is about pushing back and analyzing before accepting and creating your own idiosyncratic creed.

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

Friedrich Nietzsche

This mission statement should focus your energies and resources, and prevent distraction by giving you a sense of orientation and purpose. If you draft your own you’ll be more self-directed.

If you want to win the war for attention, don’t try to say ’no’ to the trivial distractions you find on the information smorgasbord; try to say ‘yes’ to the subject that arouses a terrifying longing, and let the terrifying longing crowd out everything else.

David Brooks, The Art of Focus

Now, all that said, here are two short ones from persons you may know:

My mission in life is not not to merely survive but to thrive, to do so with some passion, compassion, humor, and style.

Maya Angelou

I shall
not fear anyone on earth.
fear only God.
not bear ill will toward anyone.
not submit to injustice from anyone.
conquer untruth with truth.
and in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.

Gandhi

And an anonymous one I plagiarized from the inter-webs:

I will…
Be kind and proactive in developing and sustaining connections with family and friends, to be regarded as a successful spouse, father, son, brother, uncle, and friend.
Always behave with integrity and never compromise on honesty.
Intend to approach life with a curious mind.
Take care of my health by frequently exercising, eating healthily, and avoiding anything that may damage my body.
Remember when things get rough, there are so many things for which I am grateful. I will give back to the community through donations and volunteering.

Anonymous

Remember, this doesn’t have to be perfect. Just get started. You can refine and modify it over time—in fact, you should review it daily for at least 30 days, and weekly for 120 days. As previously stated, the process is as important as the product.

Personal leadership is not a singular experience. It doesn’t begin and end with the writing of a personal mission statement. It is, rather, the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important things.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Your Grand Strategy

Let’s begin by putting the title at the top: “My Ultimate Strategy,” or something like that. Next a subheading: “Ultimate Purpose.” Then your statement of that. For example, “to actualize my potential in service of my wife, family, friends, and sphere of influence.”

Creed

The next subheading is “Personal Creed.” Here’s where you can flesh out the ‘why’ above with some ‘how’ and ‘what’. Here (at least in mine) you may start to see influences from others. This also begins to seem like your own philosophy. Not only is that okay, but it’s actually the point. A ‘creed’ is essentially a statement of philosophy. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, a creed is “a set of beliefs that influences the way you live.” According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a creed is “a system of beliefs, principles, or opinions,” and “any summary of principles or opinions professed or adhered to.”

Note, this is not so specific as to say, “In five years I will…” Those are plans or long-term goals. This instead is deep and wide, meant to guide decisions about goals. It’s not about the ‘what’, it’s about the ‘why’ and some guidance as to the ‘how’. We will address the ‘what’ and ‘how’—goals, commitments, and planning—later in the article.

Character Strengths

The next subtitle or heading I like to list is “Character Strengths.” Here you can list your character strengths from the University of Pennsylvania test. I also write out their definitions as provided at Authentic Happiness.

For example: “Love of Learning—I love learning new things, whether in class or on my own. I have always loved travel, school, reading, and museums—anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.”

My other top character strengths are Gratitude and Compassion, Bravery and Valor, Curiosity and Interest in the World, and Awe.

This list can help me make decisions about what to do monthly, weekly, and even daily. Remember, positive psychologists have proved that people who actualize their character strengths daily are happier at work and play. “Should I take this job?” becomes “Does this opportunity lead to eudaemonia and fulfillment by allowing me to use my character strengths?”

The second advantage to knowing and reviewing this list is seeking opportunities to grow in areas of weakness. To take some proactive steps to improve your character. Using this reference, I can set up “training missions” for improvement or ‘exposures’ for incremental growth.

Maxims & Operating Principles

My next two sub-headings are “Maxims” and “Operating Principles.” Maxims are succinct formulations of a fundamental principle, a condensed proposition of important practical truth, a rule of conduct, or an axiom of practical wisdom.

As previously discussed, principles allow you to live a life consistent with your values—they operationalize your values.

Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that get you what you want in your life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.

Ray Dalio, Principles of Life and Work

Maxims and Principles then are like time-tested heuristics. You can develop your own, or modify, through experience, those of others. Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations can be seen as his private spiritual practice of copying and then reformatting the thoughts and teachings of the Stoic Philosopher Epictetus.

My Maxims (principles I found important enough to tattoo on my wrists) are: “Always Be Orienting” and “Prepared and Active.”

The first is a quote from John Boyd, of “OODA Loop” fame. The second is a distillation of Seneca’s wisdom:

Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul—the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.

Seneca, Moral Letters, 107.12

I won’t bore you with my full list of Principles. It’s a list that needs some culling and reformatting, anyway. But for examples, here are a few:

• Internal Locus of Focus–I take “Extreme Ownership.” I focus all of my energy within my spheres of control and influence. I do not concern myself or worry about things over which I have no control.
• Stress is information.
• Growth resist entropy.
• What’s Important Now (WIN)?–detach, observe, and [re]orient, then prioritize and execute.
• Always stay a student.
• I move toward the resistance, out of my comfort zone, as it is on the edges that you will learn and grow.
• I train for hardship and pain.
• I seek the narrow path–the middle way.

Domain Strategies

Now, lastly, under the subtitle “Domain Strategies,” I list high-level strategies for each of the identities of “Self” (or “Energy”), “Vocation” (or “Work”), and “Love” (or “Relationships”). Under the “Self” identity I have an over-arching domain strategy and strategies for each valence (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual).

These can all be drafted much in the same way detailed in Part III. Step one is to block out time for undisturbed deep work. Step two is to ensure you have defined and prioritized your identities and roles. You need to know and define them. This helps to guide long-term, short-term, and even moment-to-moment goals and decisions.

Step three is defining your purpose for each role and identity. Roles tend to be other-focused (relationships and vocation), therefore, as previously mentioned, we also need to establish goals and commitments for ourselves in each valence.

Next, step four, is to look at each identity, role, and life where you have established personal goals and, being brutally honest, define your current reality. Change and growth can only begin with honesty.

In step five, you establish specific action steps—commitments—for each goal.

We will use my Physical Valence as an example: “Train every day with mission-specific purpose, to be strong, durable, and useful. Some commitments are to “program for the year and your ‘Centenarian Decathlon’.” This covers the “Energy” or “Self” identity.

You can’t achieve primary greatness by neglecting yourself—your health, your mind, your emotional and spiritual life. Each of these vital areas of your life needs constant, even daily, renewal. Pushing the lever a bit every day can offset a slow or even catastrophic downward decline in your personal energy and even save your life.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Now you do the same for your Relationships and Vocation identities. Feel free to flesh these out as much as you want, but remember this is your Grand Strategy. It is meant to provide high-level guidance to your later decisions about daily, weekly, and monthly plans. Think of it this way: the Grand Strategy is the marrow and bone. You’ll add the flesh and muscle later.

My pre-retirement Vocation can serve as an example here. “I am a professional Law Enforcement Officer. I am a scholar, statesman, and guardian. I commit to lifelong learning. I will engage the communities I serve. I will honor my Oath, perform my duties to the best of my ability, and actively pursue my potential. I will prepare to be someone’s hope in their time of need.” I plagiarized this from “VALOR for Blue” after attending their train-the-trainer program.

Note the way the above is formatted. They are first a vision—”Professional Law Enforcement Officer”—defined—”Scholar, Statesman, Guardian”—as I would want people to speak of me at my funeral. Then there are several ‘commitments.’ These commitments are what I believe will achieve the legacy or vision. Why commitments and not goals?

Commitments: the Bridge Between Vision & Goals

Vision is a broad, all-encompassing, and open-ended conceptualization of how you want your life to be ‘in the future’. A vision allows for adaptability as reality changes, applying OODA looping to your personal development, and reorienting with new knowledge of yourself and the environment.

Lacking the deeper meaning found in a vision, goals are specific, measurable, and time-bound objectives a person aims to achieve. They provide a focal point for your resources, actions, and decisions. Goals are more concrete than intentions but are often outcome-based, rather than behavior-based.

While we need goals—we are teleological as Socrates says—there is a psychological phenomenon known as ‘goal lock’. Goal-lock is a self-defeating single-mindedness that can lead to depression and anxiety, even if you do achieve the goal. Stories abound of Olympians having won gold and sunk into the depression of “now what?”

So visions provide purpose and goals provide a target. How do we get from here to there? Commitments. A goal is something you want to do: I want to lose 20 pounds in six months.” A commitment imports that goal, becoming something you have to do.

As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control, and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods. -Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People

“My vision is to lose weight in six months to look and feel good” and “My goal is to exercise every day and lose 20 pounds in six months.” Therefore, “I commit to walking 10,000 steps every day; to doing 100 kettlebell swings and 10 get-ups every day; to doing power yoga every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.” Now, I can’t guarantee those specific commitments will accomplish your vision (you can’t outwork a bad diet), but I think you get my point.

Commitments should describe only a minimal necessary amount of the behavior you want to do in support of your goals. Commitments can be about what you will do or get to do generating a positive emotion. They can also be ‘bright line’ don’t dos. These are most helpful in the face of peer pressure: “I don’t drink alcohol on work nights,” or “I don’t eat that.” These types of commitments make it easier to act in accordance with your identity, vision, and goals.

A last word about commitments. ‘Commitment devices’ are any techniques that help people commit to a behavior. These could include contracts or pledges, and even accountability buddies. From the study of human behavior and habits, we also have “Odysseus Contracts,” aka “pre-commitments.”

The Odysseus Contract is a commitment device that allows us to make a choice in the present that binds us to an action or a decision in the future. A simple example is sometimes referred to as using your willpower on offense, rather than defense. That is, don’t buy junk food at the store, and then you won’t have it on hand at the house when your willpower is weak.

Now you have a complete first draft. Therefore it’s time for the final and most important step: Evaluation and editing. Stephen Covey offers a series of questions well suited to this evaluation process:

1) Is my mission based on timeless, proven principles? Which ones?
2) Do I feel this represents the best that is within me?
3) During my best moments, do I feel good about what this represents?
4) Do I feel direction, purpose, challenge, and motivation when I review this statement?
5) Am I aware of the strategies and skills that will help me accomplish what I have written?
6) What do I need to start doing now to be where I want to be tomorrow?
7) Does this statement inspire me?

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

If this is your first time drafting a mission statement or grand strategy, I’d recommend visiting this evaluation and editing process every day for at least 30 days. When we start talking about ‘personal management’, you will learn the benefit of reviewing this once a week as part of your weekly review and planning. That’s for making sure your weekly plans are in alignment. The first thirty days are for embedding the Ultimate Mission and Grand Strategy into your psyche.

I’d also suggest having this “ready at hand”—in your phone or a pocket notebook—so you can refer to it in the moment of decision-making.

And that completes the first half of this series. In parts I through IV we covered Personal Leadership. Stay tuned for further installments where we will shit to Personal Management.

In this part three of the series, let’s start with a thought experiment that distills down the most important takeaways from part two. Think about traveling forward in time, arriving at your funeral. Imagine now witnessing your funeral. Family, friends, and former and current co-workers are all there; they each give a eulogy about you.

Really ‘feel into’ the scene. Where is it? What does it look like? What’s the weather like? Is there music? Write down who is in attendance: wife, husband, kids? Your boss? Former trainees? Friends and co-workers? Now write down what they are saying about you.

Returning to the present, consider those statements. Can you boil them down to single words or phrases representing the values and virtues you aim for, your character strengths and principles? Finally, are you currently living in alignment with those ideals? If the words of your eulogy are your legacy, are you doing, right now, those things that will build that legacy?

If the answer is “no,” then stick around for further installments of this series, where we will talk about ‘training missions.’

Recently I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues, The résumé virtues are the ones you list on your résumé, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.

David Brooks, The Road to Character

Before we carry on with our main topic—defining our roles and drafting our mission statement—consider another question: “Who are you when you have been at your best? What did you do? And what did you not do?”

Hell is where the person you are meets the person you could have become, moments before your death.

Apocryphal

Roles

As you make an honest assessment of your answers to the questions, with deep reflection and self-examination, you may begin to identify and define the many roles or areas of responsibility you have.

Remember those persons at your imagined funeral who bore witness to your legacy? Some of these roles pertain to them. Are you a life partner, or parent? Maybe you are a teacher or field training officer, or a supervisor or mentor.

Here’s my long list:

• Husband
• Brother
• Son-in-law
• Brother-in-law (seven times over)
• Uncle (five times over)
• Homeowner, oops, apartment tenant
• Retired Law Enforcement Officer
• Coach/Trainer
• Philosopher (though I know I’m supposed to keep that a secret)
• Writer
• Teacher
• Website manager

We can now discern two broad categories: Relationships and Vocation.

Love and work…work and love, that’s all there is.

Sigmund Freud

Poet David Whyte, in his book The Three Marriages, describes a triumvirate of marriage-like commitments we should maintain for wholeness: marriage to our vocation, marriage to another (something or someone beyond ourselves), and marriage to ourselves. Brian Johnson, borrowing from Freud and Jim Loehr concurs. We have three ‘identities’ Johnson says: Energy (self), Work (our vocation), and Love (our relationships).

I encourage you to define these identities by name and description. Within these identities, you can consolidate or categorize your roles. Here are my current ones: “Hero in Training,” “Jedi Master” (very long story I’ll tell you someday over a beer), and “Heroic Husband.”

Understand these are not rigid or set in stone. They can and should be flexible enough to change with time. As you enter different phases of life you drop old commitments, and pick up new ones; relationships come and go.

Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.

Sigmund Freud

Work and Love. Two fundamental aspects of human existence. Freud’s two statements above encapsulate the significance of these two interdependent elements of our identity and purpose.

Love

Love in its various forms, plays a central role in the human experience. Encompassing romantic relationships, familial bonds, friendships, and even the casual wave to a neighbor or smile to the barista, love represents the emotional connection and support we seek and provide.

It is through love that we build connections, experience joy, and find comfort. It nurtures us, creating a safe space where we can be vulnerable. It shapes our relationships allowing us to form deep connections that foster growth.

Vocation

Without love, life might lack meaning and purpose. Work on the other hand represents the practical aspects of our lives. Through our vocations, we express our skills, contribute to society, and fulfill our ambitions.

Whether through an occupation, a hobby, or a passion project, engaging in work allows us to express ourselves, develop a sense of purpose, and feel a sense of accomplishment. Furthermore, vocation has the potential to enhance our self-esteem and provide financial stability. By investing our time and effort into a vocation, we also contribute to the collective progress of humanity.

The Dichotomy

In their symbiotic relationship, love and work interact and influence each other. Love can inspire and motivate us in our professional endeavors. Similarly, the fulfillment and satisfaction derived from our vocations can positively impact our relationships. When we find meaning and purpose in our vocation, we often bring a sense of contentment and stability to our love life.

Work-life balance is a myth. As with most dichotomies, there is a middle way, but it is not to be found in a balancing act. The phrase ‘work-life balance’ seems to imply that one is ‘good’ and the other ‘bad.’ But, work is part of life. It is more akin to Aristotle’s ‘golden mean.’ Too much and too little work is a vice. Same for life. Virtue then is found in the middle of both. Harmonizing the two promotes emotional and psychological well-being.

Often society places an overwhelming emphasis on work, equating success with professional achievements, material wealth, and recognition. This perspective can lead to a neglect of love and relationships. Similarly, an excessive focus on love without a sense of purpose or vocational fulfillment can also result in an unfulfilled existence. Finding an equilibrium then is essential for leading a meaningful and satisfying life.

By nurturing relationships and pursuing work that aligns with our passions and values, we cultivate a sense of fulfillment that permeates all aspects of our lives. This requires introspection and self-awareness. It involves understanding our priorities, values, and goals.

Energy of Self

How do we show up fully engaged in our relationships and vocation? As previously discussed, with full, positive energy. Energy management in four valences: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Covey details an energy renewal process he calls “Sharpen the Saw” in his 7 Habits book. He further recommends a one-hour “daily private victory” ritual in which you renew all four valences. Alternatively, you could scatter these throughout your week. I suggest you also have ‘rituals’ you can do to sustain your energy throughout the day and as an emergency bolus as needed at any time.

“Sharpen the Saw” tends to go by the term ‘self-care’ nowadays, and you may have heard witticisms such as “put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” I like the older “an empty well draws no water.” Regardless the principle is the same: taking the time to renew the four valences makes us more effective in our life’s work and purpose.

Investing in self-care may seem indulgent on antithetical to productivity but it defends you against exhaustion and mental or emotional collapse. In addition, it increases your sense of agency, effectiveness, and competency.

We all have a moral obligation to the people who are important in our lives, as well as to ourselves, to learn and progress without ceasing.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

We are going to discuss them individually but know that they are interconnected. One renewing action may indirectly impact more than just the valence that it directly targets. For example, exercise improves, intentionally, your physical valence, but also your emotional life.

Physical

Sharpening the saw physically—exercising, eating the right foods, getting adequate rest, avoiding harmful substances, having regular physical checkups—significantly increases the likelihood that we’ll make good choices in decision moments. It also increases our options, as good health becomes a resource from which we can do so much more. Our body is a fundamental stewardship; it’s the instrument through which we work to fulfill all other stewardships and responsibilities.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Most everyone is aware of the big three: exercise, nutrition, and sleep. These three do the heavy lifting of the physical valence. Begin with these and make them non-negotiable. Once you get these dialed in you can start experimenting:

• Naps
• Hot and/or cold therapies
• Massage and other bodywork
• Nutritional supplementation

We’re talking here about maintenance and renewal, not training for the Olympics. If a specific sport is your thing, great. Just remember, the mistake most amateur athletes make is not enough recovery. We will talk later about training specific to growing your physical energy. Right now we are just talking about optimizing your current physical energy level. Test and experiment until you find a protocol that makes you feel tip-top.

Mental

Meaningful mental renewal empowers us to transcend the limited wisdom of our environment in decision moments and keeps our minds sharp and clear and well-exercised for ready use.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

If you are a knowledge worker (over 1 billion of us worldwide as of 2020) then you know the mental strain of the 8-10-12 hour workday. Many run this like an ultra-marathon. I would suggest instead a series of ‘sprints’ of no more than 90 minutes with a lengthy break (15 minutes?) before the next session. Another option is a version of the “Pomodoro” technique: 25 minutes on and 5 minutes off.

The key here is that you do anything but ‘work’ during the break period. No email, social media, texts, voicemail, Slack, or other messaging apps and services.

Probably one of the best things you could do for mental renewal during these breaks is something physical—a set of body weight exercises, quick up and down some flights of stairs, some sprints in the parking lot—“vigorous intermittent exercise activity,” aka: “exercise snacks.” Or take a walk, get some sun, drink some water, eat some protein, or a low glycemic index snack. Try five minutes of breathing exercises.

How about when you’re not at work? What are mentally renewing activities in those times? Here are some of my favorites, and, again, the idea is to stretch the mind, not flog it with more work:

• Read “great works” of fiction
• Read poetry
• Thought-provoking podcasts
• Study a new language
• Learn to play a musical instrument
• Take an online course
• Attend a lecture at a local college, library, or ‘town hall’
• Join a discussion group or book club
• Visit a museum
• Watch documentaries

Emotional

One of the best ways to educate our heart is to look at our interaction with other people, because our relationships with others are fundamentally a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

When we don’t listen to or live by our conscience, we tend to blame and accuse other people in an attempt to justify our inner dissonance. If we have a sense of mission and principles to measure ourselves against, we benchmark against other people instead of our own potential. We’re into comparative thinking and win-lose mentality. We become self-centered and autobiographical. We impose our motives on the actions of others. We see their strengths and weaknesses in terms of how they affect us. We empower their weaknesses to control us.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Covey called this valence “Social/Emotional,” whereas the Corporate Athlete materials refer to “Emotional.” Call it what you will, without emotional balance, your social life will be difficult. When your emotional energy is high and positive, you seem to glide with an even keel despite storms or choppy seas.

Specific to positive emotional energy renewal, try:

• Meditation
• Gratitude journaling
• Reading books about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• See a therapist
• Practice deep breathing
• Practice self-compassion
• Learn how to be more resilient

Spiritual

Renewing activities in the spiritual dimension—meditation, prayer, formal religious activity, altruistic service, studying the wisdom and ‘sacred’ literature, memorizing and reviewing a personal mission statement—nurture the big picture context and the contribution focus of ‘true north.’ This renewal plays a vital role in the education of the heart. It’s the basis for deciding what ‘first things’ are. It gives us the passion and the power to subordinate the less important to the more important. It empowers us to transcend the powerful influences of urgency and expediency.

Stephen Covey, Primary Greatness

Your core, your why (Simon Sinek), your inner citadel (Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius), and that “old roll top desk where you really keep your stuff” (Vice Admiral James Stockdale)—the spiritual energy valence—gives rise to your sense of purpose in life. It’s the fertile soil to propagate your ultimate mission, and the well you draw from to water and grow your grand strategy.

‘Spirituality’—just as practical as any other valence—can be a force multiplier for your vocations and love, leading to a more purpose-driven and fulfilling life.

Only he who is capable of a genuine encounter with the other is capable of an authentic encounter with himself, and the converse is equally true… From this perspective, every spiritual exercise is a dialogue, insofar as it is an exercise of authentic presence, to oneself and to others.

Pierre Hadot, Philosophy as a Way of Life

The way to spiritual energy renewal and growth is through habits of spiritual disciplines and practices:

• Study scripture (what Covey calls “the great wisdom or sacred literature”)
• Study Philosophy
• Self-examination, a la Socrates
• Silence/Solitude
• Gratitude
• “Radical Compassion,” a la Tara Brach
• Prayer
• Meditation
• Nature and “forest bathing”
• Journaling
• Writing and reviewing your Ultimate Mission and Grand Strategy

Drafting Your Identities, Roles, & Mission Statement

By now you should have some idea of your roles and identities. From parts I and II of this series, you also should have some sense of your values, virtues, and character strengths. And don’t forget that thought experiment of visiting your funeral or the question “Who are you when you are at your best?”

All this is to say before you can live a meaningful life—pursuing eulogy virtues and flourishing—you need to know how you want people to talk about you so you can act now to make that scenario play out.

Following Covey’s advice we are not just making a list of ideals. Instead, he suggests a ‘constitution’ based on timeless and unchanging principles, virtues, and values that you want to embody.

Caveat Emptor

Two more things to remember: first, the end product isn’t as important as the process itself. It’s the journey, not the destination.

Writing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behavior with your beliefs.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The journey is the intentional thinking about what it means to you to live a good life. Furthermore, this is not a one-and-done. It’s a lifelong journey.

Which leads to caveat number two. For it to be useful you have to return to your ‘constitution’ over and over again. Both to check if your decision-making and actions are in alignment and as a spiritual practice for grounding the internal and external life.

Step 1: Set Aside Uninterrupted Time

As mentioned here you need blocks of uninterrupted time to do some ‘deep work.’ Two to four hours on a weekend—perhaps two on Saturday and two more on Sunday, or multiple Saturdays. Whatever best works for you.

If you don’t have ‘Walden Space’—quiet space at home—try a coffee shop, library, or natural park setting. Want to go deep? Check into a hotel room like Maya Angelou or J.K. Rowling.

Step 2: Identities & Roles

Covey recommends no more than six roles. We discussed the idea of three ‘marriages’ or identities (self, vocation, love). I tend to view this as a taxonomy of sorts. For example, the four valences are classified under ‘self’, husband under ‘love’, and writer under ‘work’.

Seen as a taxonomy, for some of my relationships, I can default to my love identity for decision-making. New projects or tasks? What does my vocation identity say? So for me, it starts looking something like this:

Work Identity: “Jedi Master”— Scholar/Teacher/Philosopher
Roles: retired law enforcement officer, website manager, coach/mentor, trainer

Step 3: Define the Why of Each Role

If you haven’t already, it’s time to define the high-level purpose of each identity and role. You may have some intrinsic sense of the purposes, but writing them out, and articulating them on paper, is therapeutic and results in a renewable, amendable document.

According to James Pennebaker, expressive writing allows you to openly acknowledge and accept emotions, being then able to give voice to blocked feelings, thereby constructing a meaningful story. Furthermore, you improve your ability to make causal links among life events and increase your capacity for introspection.

Write down the identity or role. One piece of paper for each role (or identity). Now think back to your funeral thought experiment. Write out the values, virtues, and character strengths—your best self—you want to embody in this role or identity. What do you want the people you affect in that role to say about you when you’re dead? Who are you when you are at your best in these roles? How do you embody these identities? What do you think? Say? Do?

Now take that and refine it, pair it down, and cut out any repetition. The more simple you can make these statements the better.

Step 4: Review Often & Amend as Needed

When to review? The most obvious time to review your mission statement is before any ‘big’ decisions and during any ‘major’ life change. The major life change can also prompt, or necessitate, amendment. Take retirement, for example. When I retired my vocational identity and roles changed in a major way. I needed to completely redefine my vocational identity and my roles.

Stephen Covey says to review your mission statement and purpose(s) once a week before determining your role-based goals and planning your weekly activities. The actions and tasks you prioritize that week then are in alignment, with your longer-term role-based goals, your identities and values, character strengths, principles, and virtues.

I used to follow David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD) weekly review and processing, then review my Grand Strategy document before planning my week. I’ve noticed that post-retirement, I am not doing that weekly (part of the reason for this whole refresher process). How I use GTD, how you might (or might not), and role-based goals, are the topics for future articles.

Wrap Up

Now you should have ‘Identities’ and ‘Roles’ defined with their purpose statements drafted. You should have recorded your top five character strengths, and maybe another five you want to work on developing. So too, your values and virtues, and maybe some principles aligned with these and in support of your identities and roles.

In the next article of this series, we will drop in the last components of personal leadership: role-based goals and commitments. Then I’ll show you how I formatted all of this in a ‘Grand Strategy.’

Until then review and continue to refine your identities and roles, and maybe start to consider what goals you might have for each of those.

In my last article, I wrote at length about definitions and terms. This was to get us into the right mindset, and to get a glimpse of our summit. What mountain are we climbing and what do we expect to find at the peak?

The answer to the first question is we aim to write our grand strategy—variously called a ‘personal credo’ (Jim Loehr) or mission/vision statement’ (Stephen Covey). To the second question, the answer is we expect to find—through self-examination, deep reflection, and honest assessment—ourselves. This process is an annealing of our core selves, our inner citadel.

The Cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

Joseph Campbel

This article is all about the exercises and practices by which we will gather the various ingredients we need to mix to produce our ‘grand strategy.’ It’s now that I need to emphasize this summit is not our final destination. What I mean is the rough draft ‘ultimate mission’ and ‘grand strategy’ is not where we stop. It is merely the first way-point on our journey.

To over-stretch the metaphor a bit, it is here that we acquire our map, compass, and other tools we will need to guide, direct, and lead us on life’s journey—the destination of which is for you to decide.

The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul.

David O. McKay

OUTFITTING YOUR EXERCISE SPACE

You only need four things: an approach, two tools, and a dichotomy. I suggest here a journaling practice with a professional approach. I’ll briefly describe the two tools to support your practice. But more importantly, I’ll detail the (false?) dichotomy of time versus energy management.

Journaling is my number one self-care practice. The root word jour, found in both journal and journey, comes from the Anglo-French jurnal from the Old French jornel meaning “a day; time; a day’s travel or work.” This leads to the Modern French journal, properly “that which takes place daily,” the adjective meaning “daily, of the day.” Day and daily are both derived from the Latin diurnus meaning “day,” related to “dairy” and “journal.” (I like Entymology online.)

All this is to say your daily (or twice daily) journaling should encompass your day’s work or travel—notes about your day. We will start ours with ‘reflective journaling.’ The rest of the post will present specific, Socratic-type (critical thinking) questions as a launch pad for reflective writing. These are exercises that help you build and solidify your physical and emotional awareness.

Moving forward your journal can become both a planning and review tool. You can record self-assessments used to help objectively observe and evaluate your choices and the resulting outcomes. Approached this way it becomes like a lab notebook recording your experiments and training results.

The journal becomes the place to collect self-knowledge, record awareness-building practices, and develop the skill of tuning in and understanding your internal states. The thing to remember now is that while journaling and responding to thought questions in an interesting activity on its own, the goal of these is two-fold. One, to gather data about yourself you are unlikely to discover any other way, and two, to use deliberate practice to build the skill of paying attention or listening to your interoception.

To ‘have a practice’…is to follow a rigorous, prescribed regimen with the intention of elevating the mind and the spirit to a higher level.

Stephen Pressfield, Turning Pro

Think of this journaling as a practice. As Stephen Pressfield writes in Turning Pro, “We come to a practice as Warriors,” but remember, “the real enemy is inside himself.” The space of the practice is sacred. Therein you exercise and strengthen the better angels of your nature and purge the imps and demons.

The professional displays courage, not only in the roles she embraces (which invariably scare the hell out of her) or sacrifices she makes (of time, love, family) or even in the enduring of criticism, blame, envy, and lack of understanding, but above all in confronting of her own doubts and demons.

Stephen Pressfield, Turning Pro

The Tools

It doesn’t matter what you journal in, nor what kind of pen or pencil you use. The key to choosing tools is picking ones you will use consistently. A feeling of enjoyment will increase consistency. Or more correctly, lack of enjoyment will eventually lead to abandonment.

Writing In

I’ve used cheap composition notebooks and steno pads. For a time, sold one the old world romance, I used Moleskine notebooks—different sizes, both side and top bound. I prefer lined paper but have used un-lined and gridded (though I never got into ‘Bullet’ journals).

You may find, as I have, that you need several different journals for different purposes. Most of my journaling occurs in a Leuchtturm 1917. I use A5 size, lined, anthracite, or sage hardcovers. Planning, executing, and evaluating my ‘training missions’ (longer discussion for a future post) I use a Levenger “Circa” notebook, ‘letter’ size (9 3/4 x 11 3/8), with a hardcover designed to look like a ‘Composition Book’—my lab notebook.

Physical training is tracked in an A6-sized ‘green book.’ ‘Green Book’ is a nickname for the government-issued green hardcover notebooks found in military administration and other government offices. The lined paper is perfect for Skillcraft government-issue ballpoint pens and No. 2 pencils. I have several of these ‘green books’ acquired while I was in the Navy and working for the Forest and Park Services.

When I’m out and about, I carry a hand-made “Traveler’s Notebook” with Midori refills (weekly planner and graph paper). This is for calendar time management and a capture tool rather than journaling. We will return to this tool in later posts.

Writing With

For writing, just like my choice of paper, I gravitate to finer instruments but can use whatever is at hand. These could be pencils (I prefer ‘H’ hardness), cheap or free ballpoint ‘stick’ or ‘clicker’ pens from hotel rooms and other places. As far as ‘bulk’ pens go, I’ve been using Pilot’s G-2 07 or 10 ‘gel roller ball’ pens. I also like Uni-Ball’s Vision Needle.

Fancier? I have a Mont Blanc “Meisterstruck” roller ball—I love the pen, but not so much the refills. Fortunately, Monte Verde makes a fine point refill that has excellent ink flow.

My old (2000) Rotring 600 ballpoint and newer 800+ mechanical pencil (0.5mm lead in ‘H’ with tablet stylus tip) ride in my Traveler’s Notebook. In 20 years I used that Rotring to stroke thousands of citations. It now has some patina, character, and a wonky push button. I also use a Rotring ‘multi-pen’ (black, blue, and red ballpoint, and pencil lead) for marginations and note-taking while reading. Monte Verde refills for the multi-pen and Pentel refills for the 600.

At home, I love to use fountain pens. I use a Lamy Safari, several Pelikan Classic M 205s, and a Pilot Vanishing Point. But for the past two years, the only nibs that have touched my primary journal are the fine-point gold ones on my YSTUDIO pens. Pure joy writing with those.

Now having said all that—well, written, actually, with a Pilot G-2 10, in blue, on an OfficeMax Docket Gold legal pad—it doesn’t matter what you write with or in (or on). What matters is that you write.

Writing is one of the most powerful forms of energy investment for creativity. Writing is scientifically proven to best stimulate the neurological pathways for cognitive and emotional learning. Writing is a kind of psycho-neuromuscular activity that helps integrate the conscious and subconscious minds. Writing clarifies thought and helps break the whole into examinable parts.

Energy Versus Time

Time or energy? Which paradigm is more important? I think the question misses the mark. Like most dichotomies, there is a middle way.

Your time is finite. As mentioned here, and as we will talk about again in future posts, we need to embrace our finitude. There is nothing you can do to get more than 24 hours in a day. You cannot manage your time. You can only manage what you do with your time. This is what I will refer to as ‘personal management’ which we will discuss in depth in later posts of this series.

Right now we are still talking about ‘personal leadership.’ Since it’s clear you will need to ‘spend’ time (quantity) on these exercises, the question becomes “How?” (quality). Let’s focus then on the ‘energy management’ paradigm.

The Energy Management Paradigm

I learned about this concept of energy management at the Human Performance Institute Corporate Athlete program. Then again when I was certified to be a facilitator of that program. Doctors Jim Loehr and Jack Groppel are co-founders of the Human Performance Institute. I’ll lean heavily on Jim Loehr, Tony Schwartz (his co-author), and Jack Groppel’s books: The Corporate Athlete Advantage, The Power of Full Engagement, and The Only Way to Win.

Feeling forever starved for time, we assume that we have no choice but to cram as much as possible into every day. But managing time efficiently is no guarantee that we will bring sufficient energy to whatever it is we are doing.

Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz, The Power of Full Engagement

The number of hours is finite and fixed. But the quantity and quality of energy is adjustable. Not infinite, for sure, but renewable and trainable. It is the skillful management and application of your energy to the time you have that determines your performance.

Every one of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors has an energy consequence, for better or for worse. The ultimate measure of our lives is not how much time we spend on the planet, but rather how much energy we invest in the time we have.

Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz, The Power of Full Engagement

The Corporate Athlete program teaches how to be “fully engaged” in your “Ultimate” and “training missions”—be it work, family, self, or other purpose. How can you ensure full engagement? By being physically energized, emotionally connected, mentally focused, and spiritually aligned with a purpose beyond your immediate self-interest.

In short, if you want to approach this project of drafting your Ultimate Mission and Grand Strategy as Stephen Pressfield suggests—as a professional approaches a sacred practice—then you need to be fully engaged. You want to be energized, connected, focused, and aligned. Pick time blocks to do this when your energies are at their highest.

When I was working, that was early morning, before the demands of the day drained my mental and emotional energies. You’ll be able to intuit your best times. Perhaps in the evening when everyone else has gone to sleep, or mid-day after lunch.

Exercises

Since we have been following the ideas of the Human Performance Institute, let’s start there with our exercises. The Corporate Athlete program takes participants through their ‘change process’ to get from disengaged to full engagement. To summarize:

1. Define Purpose—answering the question “How should I spend my energy in a way that is consistent with my deepest values?”
2. Face the Truth—as we regularly underestimate the consequences of our energy management choices, facing the truth begins with gathering as much credible, comprehensive, and objective data as possible.
3. Take Action—that is to close the gap between who you are and who you want to be.

Purpose

For the purpose of, well, finding your purpose, HPI suggests you set aside time to ask yourself and answer the following questions:

1. What legacy do you want to leave behind (or how do you want to be remembered)?
2. How do you want people to describe you?
3. Who do you want to be?
4. Who/what matters most to you?
5. What are your deepest values?
6. How would you define success in life?
7. What makes your life worth living?

Answers to these questions for the core of what will eventually become the single most important document in your life: your Ultimate Mission. From your most cherished values, from the people you love and care most about, from life as it has been handed down to you, from all of your experiences—what is your most important mission in life? Your answer becomes the cornerstone of your new scorecard and your definitive moral stake in the ground.

Jim Loehr, The Only Way to Win

Values

Since values have come up a few times already, let’s review what I feel is the best exercise for figuring out yours. As mentioned in the last post, this comes from Breneé Brown’s book, Dare to Lead. Here again is the list. As before feel free to add values that you don’t see on the list. Otherwise, circle or highlight all those virtues that most resonate with you.

Those first ten or twenty or however many you highlighted, Brown calls “second-tier values.” Now narrow this list down to your core two. Many of your second-tier values can be grouped as they relate to one another. The groups of second-tier values support your top two—provide texture to them, so to speak.

Character Strengths

The next exercise is easier. Follow this link (or here) to test your character strengths. There you can go through a scientifically validated series of questions to determine your top five character strengths. There too you can review all the character strengths and learn how to go about working on weaknesses. That is, as mentioned here, we all have these character strengths to varying degrees, though we may or may not express them at any one time. While I suggest you record, meditate on, and lean into your strengths, I also strongly recommend you recognize and work on any that are underutilized and detrained.

A value in action is a virtue.

Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz, The Power of Full Engagement

Virtues

There is no test for ‘your’ virtues. They are a choice of ideals to strive for. You could look at your top character strengths and recognize if you have more in any one virtue grouping as positive psychologists see them. Find a virtue lacking, you could set up a training mission to improve it. We will discuss “training missions” in a later article.

You could choose the Positive Psychology movement’s six:

• Wisdom
• Courage
• Justice
• Temperance
• Humanity
• Transcendence

Or you could consider the ancient Greeks’ simple cardinal four:

• Wisdom
• Courage
• Justice
• Temperance

And you could make up your own set or use verbiage that resonates with you as I explained here:

• Wisdom
• Courage
• Justice & Humanity (Love?)
• Temperance
• Transcendence (Love, again?)

The Sage

The next exercise is to consider ‘the sage’ or a mentor (or several). Let’s look at ‘the sage’ first.

The Stoic Sage represents an ideal: a person who lives a life of perfect alignment with the four virtues. The figure of near-perfection is seen as having achieved moral and intellectual perfection, always acting rationally and remaining calm and composed no matter what happens around them. It is considered almost impossible to become a sage, but the concept provides an ideal for people to aim for.

Mentors

‘The mentor’ is an archetype. An experienced advisor or confidante of a younger hero, the mentor has often been in the position of the hero in the past and therefore is in a position to guide them. Possessed of greater skill, knowledge, and experience than their student, they intend to pass on their knowledge and skill to their younger students.

Viewed archetypically, I have dozens of mentors I’ve never actually met. Joseph Campbell, because I’ve read everything he’s ever published. Viktor Frankl, Carl Jung, Warrant Officer Hugh Thompson, Wesley Audrey, Captain “Sully” Sullenberger, Vice Admiral James Stockdale, Mammy Till-Moby, Fumiko Hayashida, Shirley Chisholm, Muhamad Ali, Theodore “Teddy” Rosevelt, Winston Churchill, Heddy Lamar, Gertrude Bell. And my list is subject to grow. Note that each of these has virtuous qualities that I admire.

One of the best examples of this practice is Book 1 of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations wherein he thanks various persons for their mentoring.

From Rusticus I received the impression that my character required improvement and discipline, …and I am indebted to him for being acquainted with the discourses of Epictetus, which he communicated to me out of his own collection.

Marcus Aurelius

Now you have several exercises and practices with which to get started drafting your “Ultimate Mission” Some of these also give you pieces of your “Grand Strategy”—your mission statement or credo. In the next article, we will take further steps to finish your Grand Strategy. Then from there, we will shift from ‘Personal Leadership’ to ‘Management.’

Part I: Introduction

In a perfect world, this series of posts would have started in December. I like to do my annual review, amendments, and planning in December. Alas, we don’t live in a perfect world. Life happens. And that’s a reason one should want to develop their own personal mission, vision, or creed.

The most effective way I know to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed. It focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based.

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I first read Covey’s 7 Habits in 2014. It was on the Middle Leader Program reading list. From there I read First Things First, which is a much deeper dive into Habit Three.

Before this, I was a devotee of David Allen’s Getting Things Done. From Allen, I learned to manage projects and tasks. Covey taught there was more to the story. That we should start with personal leadership. Managers do things right. Leaders make sure we are doing the right things for the right reasons.

To this day I use much of what I learned from Allen’s books Getting Things Done and Ready for Anything. This time of the year I also like to listen to GTD Live, a live seminar recorded in 2008. GTD is all about personal management. And for me various iterations or versions of GTD have work well.

But that said, the more urgent, the more critical thing to do is to get our vision, purpose, or mission in life drafted. Once that garden is planted you can weekly and daily tend to the weeds.

Once you have that sense of mission, you have the essence of your own proactivity. You have the vision and the values that direct your life. You have the basic direction from which you set your long- and short-term goals. You have the power of a written constitution based on correct principles, against which every decision concerning the most effective use of your time, your talents, and your energies can be effectively measured.

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

In deference to Allen’s idea that we should “clear the runway” first, we are going to jump into mission, vision, values, and purpose. This is in part because as I write this I am not drafting mine for the first time. Instead, I am doing my annual review, amending, and recommitting. This is much more effective than New Year’s resolutions. Actually, without this process resolutions are no more than hollow ideas we tend to abandon before the end of February.

But first a little more background to help explain the process. In 2015, I attended Corporate Athlete training presented by the Human Performance Institute. I certified through HPI In 2016 to be a facilitator of that training. HPI’s idea is to establish your “Ultimate Mission” first. Then to align all your energies — physical, mental, and emotional — to this self-transcendent idea.

Yes, this is where psychology returns somewhat to its roots in practical philosophy. Stick with me and we will lay some foundations for your philosophy.

Dr. Jim Loehr is one of the founders of the Human Performance Institute. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention his most recent book Leading With Character and the supplemental workbook The Personal Credo Journal. This book is generally aimed at the corporate world. It is filled with examples of leaders who did not engage their moral compass in their decision-making. I read the book and worked through the journal exercises in the winter of 2022-23. I’ll be showing here how we can operationalize some of that information and the journal exercises.

Because your personal credo represents the clearest, most accurate, self-determined articulation of your core beliefs, core values, mission, and purpose in life, it becomes your ultimate source code for determining right from wrong, for navigating the storms of life.

Jim Loehr, Leading With Character

Once we get this document lined out we will have at least a rough draft of our map of reality (not reality itself, more on that later). We will also have a compass, of sorts, to guide our decision-making on such things as roles, role-based goals, and how we fulfill those goals in service of those roles, in alignment with our self-determined purpose in life.

While still in these philosophical clouds, we should also embrace our finitude. Realize “productivity is a trap.” You can’t and shouldn’t want to do “do it all.”

Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed, and trying to clear the decks simply makes them fill up again faster. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved “work-life balance,” whatever that might be, and you certainly won’t get there by copying the “six things successful people do before 7:00 am.” The day will never arrive when you finally have everything under control … and when the fully optimized person you’ve become can turn, at long last, to the things life is really supposed to be about.

Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks

In Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman poses five questions to better understand the default state of “insecurity and vulnerability of our provisional life.” He also provides ten tools for embracing our finitude. According to Burkeman’s math, I have roughly 1,565 weeks left of my (estimated) four thousand. For some this calculation could result in an existential crisis. I choose philosophy and spiritual practices over hiding in fear from reality. (And maybe the occasional “Jungle Bird” to help the medicine go down.)

I should explain what I mean by spiritual practices. These are not the same as the rituals that are intrinsic to religions and churches worldwide. For me, spiritual exercises are like those of Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations. As Pierre Haddot describes in The Inner Citadel:

The goal is to re-actualize, rekindle, and ceaselessly reawaken an inner state which is in constant danger of being numbed or extinguished. The task — ever-renewed — is to bring back to order an inner discourse which becomes dispersed and diluted in the futility of routine.

As he wrote the Meditations, Marcus was thus practicing Stoic spiritual exercises. He was using writing as a technique or procedure in order to influence himself and to transform his inner discourse by meditating on the Stoic dogmas and rules of life. This was an exercise of writing day by day, ever-renewed, always taken up again, since the true philosopher is he who is conscious of not yet having attained wisdom.

Pierre Haddot, The Inner Citadel

I also gleaned a few new practices last year from my reading of From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C. Brooks. We will look at these and a few other practices I’ve used over the years.

Finally, we will look at the daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly levels of planning. Do you need to do all of them? Maybe not. Covey suggests “planning weekly” and “adjusting daily.” David Allen recommends a weekly review of your progress and processing of your system. If you are “capturing everything in a trusted system” then planning is almost moot. You’re getting things done within the context of the moment (this is the biggest gap in Allen’s system but acknowledging the gap you can overcome it easily enough). I used to do bi-weekly reviews at the end of a pay period.

In The One Thing, Gary Keller and Jay Papasan encourage us to take Pareto’s Principle to the extreme. They tell us to plan down to “the one thing [you] can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary.” Brian Moran and Michael Lennington, in 12 Week Year, argue that if you break your year down into four “years” each a set of 12 weeks, then you can get four year’s of work accomplished in one calendar year. Really? Maybe. Maybe not.

This brings me back to Burkeman — you cannot get everything done, nor should you try.

Elucidating Terminology

(aka Eschewing Obfuscation)

Before we jump into some thought experiments or other practices we should get a better understanding of our subject by way of defining terminology.

I’m going to be asking you to consider paradigms, vision, goals, and roles. Further, to draft a credo, mission statement, “Grand Strategy,” or “ultimate purpose.” So you might be wondering are these all the same thing? (No.) If not, how do they differ? And how pray tell do we operationalize all these phrases and terms? I will explain what these mean — at least how I define them.

Do You Have Change for a Paradigm?

According to etymology.com paradigm is from the late Latin paradigma “pattern, example,” from Greek paradeígma “pattern, model, precedent, example.” In the 20th century paradigm began to be used in the more specific philosophical sense of “logical or conceptual structure serving as a form of thought within a given area of experience,” especially in Thomas Kuhn’s The Structure of Scientific Revolutions

Lillian was reminded of the Talmudic words: “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.“

Anaïs Nin, Seduction of the Minotaur

Stephen Covey applies the metaphor of a map. We have maps in our heads that he divides into two categories:

• Maps of the “way things are,” our perception of realization.
• Maps of the “way things should be,” that is, our values and beliefs.

But, Covey cautions, “The map is not the territory,” rather it is merely an explanation — our understanding — of our view of the explored parts of the territory. Explored versus unexplored territory is a philosophical and psychological metaphor we will save for a later discussion.

There is only a perspective seeing, only a perspective “knowing;” and the more affects we allow to speak about one thing, the more eyes, different eyes, we can use to observe one thing, the more complete will our “concept” of this thing, our “objectivity,” will be.

Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals

It is important to understand that if we are using the wrong map — a flawed paradigm — nothing we do, short of changing maps, will save us from being lost.

Our paradigms are how we see the world — the filter or lens through which we perceive, understand, and interpret. Conditioning affects our perceptions and therefore our paradigms. Influences include family, school, church, work environment, friends and associates, current sociopolitical attitudes, and organizational indoctrination.

In developing our self-awareness many of us discover ineffective embedded habits that are totally unworthy of us, totally incongruent with the things we value in life.

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Jim Loehr reminds us that any or all of these could be “flawed inputs” and lists several worth considering deeply:

• Internal “fake news” and flawed moral reasoning — when our personal beliefs and biases masquerade as factual knowledge.
• Flawed parental inputs — parents are imperfect and have deficiencies, “and just as they hand down to us their character strengths, they also hand down their character flaws, though usually unintentionally.”
• Flawed cultural and religious inputs.
• Flawed mindset inputs — there’s reality and then there’s our perspective or version thereof; my perspective represents reality to me and dictates how I will respond in a given situation.

It is our needs that interpret the world; our drives and their “For and Against.” Every drive is a kind of lust to rule; each one has its perspectives that it would like to compel all other drives to accept as a norm.

Friedrich Nietzsche

• Flawed emotional inputs — emotional hijacking.
• Flawed survival inputs — intense pressure, fear of failure, or humiliation: anything triggering a fight or flight response.
• Flawed fatigue inputs — compromised physical or mental state; low physical or mental energy.
• Flawed need inputs — strong needs for approval, attention, recognition, love, affection, self-esteem, etcetera.

While beliefs are notions we hold to be true, they may or may not have moral ramifications; they represent our interpretation of the world as we have come to experience it.

Jim Loehr, Leading With Character

Our paradigms (the way we perceive our values and beliefs) lead to what we do (our attitudes and behaviors). In turn, what we do leads to the results we get. Things that challenge our paradigms — especially those deeply submerged iceberg beliefs — are perceived to be a threat.

When we act contrary to our paradigms we experience at the least cognitive dissonance and worst moral injury. So if we want to change results we cannot just change our attitudes and behaviors, methods, or techniques. We must change the basic paradigms.

The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others, and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This sounds a great deal like Nietzsche’s perspectivism. It also sounds an awful lot like Boyd’s orienting, and hints at Frankl’s gap between stimulus and response, Stoic ideas of an “inner citadel,” or what James Stockade called “that old roll-top desk where you really keep your stuff.”

Because we have already lived with many scripts that have been handed to us, the process of writing our own scripts is actually more a process of “re-scripting,” or paradigm-shifting — of changing some of the basic paradigms we already have. As we recognize the ineffective scripts, the incorrect or incomplete paradigms within us, we can proactively begin to re-script ourselves.

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effectively People

Values or Principles

Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that get you what you want in your life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.

Ray Dalio, Principles of Life and Work

Covey defines principles as time-tested values that have worked through the ages regardless of their social context. He implies that there are universal values and therefore universal principles.

Without implying any universality, Ray Dalio agrees that all principles come from a set of values. Your values lead to your principles. Values are important. They define who you are or who you want to be. However, values are not practical to use when faced with tough decisions.

For example, let’s assume you value living a healthy lifestyle. But what exactly does “being healthy” mean in practice? What are the daily decisions you are going to make to be more health conscious?

Without principles, you would be forced to react to circumstances that come at you without considering what you value most and have to make choices to get what you want. This would prevent you from making the most of your life.

Ray Dalio, Principles: Life and Work

Principles are what allow you to live a life consistent with those values. Principles operationalize your values. Considering the value of “living a healthy lifestyle,” you need to create a set of principles to guide your actions. Such as “I do not eat fast food,” “I exercise three times a week,” or “I go to yoga every Saturday.”

Principles connect your values to your actions; they are beacons that guide your actions, and help you successfully deal with the laws of reality. It is to your principles that you turn to when you face hard choices.

Ray Dalio, Principles: Life and Work

Most of our principles — like our paradigms — come prepackaged from parents, religious institutions, schools, the military, and influential figures without thought. Herein lies the potential risk of inconsistency with your true values and actions.

Those principles that are most valuable come from our own experiences and our reflections on those experiences. Every time we face hard choices, we refine our principles by asking ourselves difficult questions.

Ray Dalio, Principles: Life and Work

I’ve mentioned values several times I guess we should define them. While we are at it let’s also turn over a few stones to find ours.

Values are a set of mental processes that are both cognitive and emotional. They are unique to each of us. They are keystones of our paradigms and beliefs and are actualized through principles. As such they govern our behavior and guide the way we look at the world.

You have values whether you know it or not. Knowing your core values is a way of connecting with your inner self. Not knowing you run the risk of inadvertently going against them. Without understanding and alignment, we are on weak foundations.

Have a look at this list from Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. Highlight underline or circle the words that most resonate with you.

Those first ten or twenty or so that you highlighted Brown calls “second-tier values.” Her challenge to us is to narrow this list down to your core two values. And, yes, Brown admits this is universally difficult. I settle for four. Like cardinal points on a compass, they help us to make decisions about which way to go to get to our destination — our purpose.

Full disclosure, I have not read Dare to Lead. Colin Breck’s blog is where I heard of Brown’s exercise. In that blog post, he goes on to describe how many of the second-tier values can be grouped as they relate to one another. Therein we can refine our first list into two (or four) core values.

The second-tier values then support these values. When we are guided by clear values, we can continue to make choices about how to behave from a position of confidence, strength, and dignity rather than from anger, resentment, and insecurity.

Character Strengths

Character is defined as the combination of mental characteristics and behavior that distinguishes a person or group; as moral strength and integrity. As defined by Ralph Emerson, character is “a reserved force that acts by presence and without means.”

Character comes from the Greek kharacter meaning “engraved mark” also “symbol or imprint on the soul.” Following on the etymology is the common metaphor of engraving or carving our character as Michelangelo “revealed” David from the marble other sculptors had rejected. Dr. Loehr writes, “[I]n a sense we chisel our true essence from the bedrock of life.”

Character is destiny.

Heraclitus

Character includes traits that reveal themselves over time in specific — and often uncommon — circumstances. Character strengths are viewed as specific psychological processes that define broader virtues. Character is shaped by beliefs.

With enough effort and motivation, changing one’s perspective and view of the world can lead to a shift in one’s character. What I think Heraclitus is saying is that people make their destiny through their value-based choices, as Loehr says, “one moral decision at a time.”

Building character strength is like building physical strength. When the test comes, if you don’t have it, no cosmetics can disguise the fact that it just isn’t there.

Stephen Covey, First Things First

Character is not static. It can be exercised like a muscle and therefore strengthened and reinforced. But too, it can atrophy if not put to work. You can maintain your character strengths and use those to exercise and improve any weaknesses.

As defined by the positive psychology movement, character strengths are the psychological ingredients — processes or mechanisms — that define virtues. Said another way, they are distinguishable routes to displaying one or another of the virtues (we will talk about virtues soon).

Positive psychology proffers we all have these character strengths to varying degrees, though we may not express them at any one time. So too these strengths may be underutilized and as such “detrained” — unavailable in time of need.

Character strengths can be taught and strengthened through training and repeated use. Research suggests that people who use these strengths every day are three times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life and six times more likely to be engaged at work.

Pro tip: find a job that utilizes your character strengths often.

You can figure out your character strengths via the brief questionnaire here. By knowing your strengths and acknowledging weaknesses, you can go about improving them and benefit from exercising your strengths.

Virtues

In The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz state, “A value in action is a virtue.”

Alignment occurs when we transform our values into virtues. Simply identifying our primary values is not sufficient. The next step is to define more precisely in our daily lives — regardless of external pressures.

Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz, The Power of Full Engagement

The ancient Greek philosophers recognized four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. The positive psychology movement adds “humanity” and “transcendence.” They argue “These six virtues are universal, perhaps explained by evolutionary biological process … as a means of solving the important tasks necessary for survival.”

Martin Seligman — founder of the positive psychology movement — provides brief definitions in his book Flourish. Further information and definitions can be found in Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification (by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman).

Wisdom is “knowledge hard fought for, and then used for good. …a form of noble intelligence — in the presence of which no one is resentful and everyone is appreciative.” Peterson and Seligman quote Kramer, “Wisdom involves exceptional breadth and depth of knowledge about the conditions of life and human affairs and the reflective judgment about the application of this knowledge.” They also quote the Berlin Max Plank Institute researchers: “Good judgment and advice about important but uncertain matters of life.”

Courage, writes Seligman, “Reflects the open-eyed exercise of will toward uncertain worthy ends in the face of strong adversity.” Peterson and Seligman follow Putnam’s “inclusive account of courage,” which includes three characterizations of courage:

Physical courage is the type involved in overcoming fear of physical injury or death in order to save others or oneself. Moral courage entails maintaining ethical integrity or authenticity at the risk of losing friends, employment, privacy, or prestige. Psychological courage involves that sort required to confront a debilitating illness or destructive habit or situation; it is the bravery inherent in facing one’s inner demons.

Daniel Putnam, Psychological Courage

Humanity includes strengths “displayed in positive social interaction with other people: friends, acquaintances, family members, and strangers.” The positive psychology movement separates the virtues of “Humanity” and “Justice.”

Justice they write, “generally refers to that which makes life fair.” “Intuitively perhaps,” they continue, “that means the equality of everyone.” The strengths of justice are in civic activities.

Following the Stoic idea of Oikeiôsis and “Hierocles’ Circles”, I put the two back together. Equal justice for all proceeds from an understanding, acceptance, and love of our common humanity. Perhaps love is a transcendence of both.

Temperance, according to Seligman, “refers to the appropriate and moderate expression of your appetites and wants. The temperate person does not suppress motives, but waits for opportunities to satisfy them so that harm is not done to self or others.”

Peterson and Seligman define Transcendence “as the connection to something higher — the belief that there is meaning or purpose larger than ourselves.” This is essentially the opposite of nihilism. They go on to quote Viktor Frankl:

Being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone other than oneself — be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself — by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love — the more human he is and the more he actualizing himself.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Purpose & “Ultimate Mission”

People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time — even when hard at work.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

To be clear, Peterson and Seligman are not saying religiosity or spirituality makes one virtuous. They do concede however that both are an example of transcendence. You need not be religious — implying a connection to formal institutions. Nor do you need to be “spiritual” to experience “self-transcendence.” I will follow Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz’s more “simple and elemental” definition of spiritual: “the connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose beyond our self-interest.” It is this “purpose” I want to talk about.

Can human beings find real fulfillment and well-being without knowing the “why,” or purpose, behind what they are chasing?

Can we find sustained happiness when our reason for chasing is maximizing our own pleasure and minimizing our own pain? That is, can a hedonistic life ever truly be a fulfilling life?

Is life more likely to be fulfilling when the purpose of our chasing is more about others than ourselves? To wit, how important is it to shift from a self-enhancing purpose to a self-transcending one?

Jim Loehr, Leading With Character

The scientific evidence indicates Aristotle, Seligman, Emmons, Frankl, Deci, Ryan, Gardener, and others are right. Eudaemonia or Flourishing comes from a positive, self-determined, self-transcending purpose.

We are teleological and purpose-driven. Our most potent, vigorous, and sustaining sense of purpose occurs when we transcend self-interest. We are nourished when the “why” behind what we do is intrinsic and other-centered.

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life … Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s talk is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

Viktor Frankl

“Ultimate Mission” is the term the Human Performance Institute uses. To help one determine their ultimate mission or purpose, they ask you to answer seven questions:

1. What legacy do you want to leave behind? Or, how do you want to be remembered
2. How do you want people to describe you?
3. Who do you want to be?
4. Who/what matters most to you?
5. What are your deepest values?
6. How would you define success in life?
7. What makes your life worth living?

Here are a few more:

1. How would you like to hear people eulogize you at your funeral?
2. What is worth denying for?
3. What one-sentence inscription would you like to see on your tombstone?

In answering these questions we can, as Viktor Frankl said, detect true missions, rather than invent false ones.

Credo/Grand Strategy

Here we are back where we started.

We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.

T. S. Elliot

With that in mind let’s review the quote from Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “The most effective way I know to begin with the end in mind is to develop a personal mission statement or philosophy or creed.”

Covey likens the personal mission statement to the U.S. Constitution — fundamentally changeless, but amendable, the standard by every law (decision) is evaluated, based on correct principles.

“Grand Strategy” is my preferred term. I like grand strategy more than an “immutable unchanging constitution” because strategy constantly evolves in response to changing reality including other people implementing their own, possibly con-travailing strategies. I’m borrowing of course from political science in which grand strategy is a methodology used by policymakers and practitioners to solve problems. For me, this is a progression from HPI’s “Ultimate Mission.”

Scholars broadly agree that grand strategy refers to something that has the characteristics of being long-term in scope, related to the state’s highest priorities, and concerned with all spheres of statecraft. The formulation and implementation of a grand strategy require the identification of a national goal, a thorough assessment of the state’s resources in a highly organized manner to achieve that goal.

Nina Silove, Beyond the Buzzword: The Three Meanings of ‘Grand Strategy’

“National goal?” That’s the “ultimate mission” or purpose you need to identify. “State resources?” These are your physical, mental, and emotional energies. You make an honest and thorough assessment of your energy levels and what’s needed to optimize them. Lastly, is the “marshaling of those resources [energies] in a highly organized manner to achieve that goal.”

An empowering grand strategy represents the deepest and best within you. It is the fulfillment of your unique gifts. Further, it deals with vision, your ultimate mission, principle-based values, character, and competence. Your grand strategy should address all the significant roles in life. Most importantly it should be written to inspire you, not impress someone else.

Because your personal credo represents the clearest, most accurate, self-determined articulation of your core beliefs, core values, mission, and purpose in life, it becomes your ultimate source code for determining right from wrong, for navigating the moral storms of life.

Jim Loehr, Leading With Character

By “grand” I am not encouraging grandiosity. Ambitious maybe, but not grandiose. Instead “grand” implies the over-arcing vision or strategy that encapsulates all lesser strategies and guides the alignment of means and ends.

By “lesser strategies” I mean those that guide your “training missions.” Those personal missions are aimed at improving character strengths or optimizing your physical, mental, and emotional energies much more on that in future posts.

Where to next?

Next (future posts) we will go through some exercises and thought experiments scientifically proven to help you discover your values, character strengths, paradigms, and principles. I’ve mentioned a few already, and we will revisit those.

From there we will drill down on a first draft of your ultimate mission, and your roles or identities. Once your roles are recognized you can decide on role-based goals and commitments. Importantly, we will discuss the “energy paradigm” and how you should optimize and renew yours regularly.

With that high-level thinking done, or at least a working draft in place, we can drop down a few levels at a time. The annual, quarterly, monthly, weekly, and daily planning and doing. This is where “personal leadership” downshifts (back) to “personal management.”